Narco subs filled with eggs any day now…

i mean we live in capitalism…

It’s been dumb for a while. During the Norwegian butter crisis (a shortage of butter in Norway), people would smuggle butter.

Edit: fixed factual errors in my comment.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_butter_crisis

We really do. If i wasn’t so certain this was reality I’d expect to wake up soon.

Sadly, im already awake.

If I keep posting this every time there are egg related political news stories, maybe it’ll come true?

I put together a little short story about how I would like to see Donald Trump meet his demise. Drowning in eggs:

The Eggsecution.

The once-proud leader, now stripped of title and dignity, stands in the center of the barren, concrete abyss. The abandoned Olympic swimming pool—thirty feet deep, dry as bone—has become their final stage. Above, the gathered masses stretch in every direction, a writhing sea of anticipation.

They do not jeer. They do not boo.

They simply chant.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

It starts as a murmur, a low thrum of human voices vibrating in unison. Then it grows, swelling into a deafening roar that rattles windows, that shudders in the bones of every person present. A chant as ancient as it is absurd, a single-minded invocation of punishment.

The first egg arcs high overhead, tracing a lazy curve before splattering against the fallen leader’s shoulder. The yolk bursts, oozing down his baggy, ugly, now-useless suit. A streak of yellow, the first of many.

Another egg. Then another.

Then dozens.

The first impacts make them flinch, stagger—hands raised in a futile shield. But soon there are too many to dodge, too many to deflect. They curl inward as the sky rains viscous judgment. The chant never stops.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

Shells crack. Yolk drips. The scent of sulfur and shame thickens in the stagnant air. It coats their skin, their hair, their pride, turning them into something less than human. Something… egg-like.

At the top of the pit, a child—no older than seven—steps forward. They hold their egg with both hands, cradling it like something precious. Reverent. With a deliberate motion, they lob it downward. It strikes the leader square on the forehead, exploding with an almost musical plap. The crowd erupts into a fresh crescendo of cheers, but the chant never falters.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

No escape. No reprieve. The pit is smooth concrete, slick now with raw egg and humiliation. They can do nothing but stand there, endure, become part of the ritual.

Somewhere in the throng, a vendor hawks boiled eggs. Another sells cartons to the unprepared. A man in a chicken suit waves encouragingly at the crowd.

The night wears on, but the spectacle does not end.

It cannot end.

Not until the last egg is thrown. Not until the last voice is hoarse.

Not until the world is rid of this one, failed leader, broken not by swords or exile, but by the inescapable weight of public yolk and scorn.

“Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.”

A local grocery store is selling, I kid you not, single eggs for a dollar.

No bulk pricing. One loose egg. $1

Eggs are were one of the cheapest sources of sustainable protein for many low-income families in the US.

I for one, do not support eggs getting high.
Next thing you know they’ll turn into murder chickens.

Basically tons of baked goods like bread are going up. Breakfast in general is mostly based on eggs here, is it a requirement? Nah, but it is a staple.

People are freaking out over eggs like they did with toilet paper

I’m not vegan, and I agree. I’m the cook in my household, and a dozen eggs feels like it lasts forever. In my experience, they’re largely optional outside of baking, which is admittedly probably only because I haven’t experimented enough with applesauce/auquafaba/flax/etc. to get consistent results. Sure, some recipes like carbonara or shakshuka need eggs, but by optional I mean you can plan to make something else where they’re less essential.

The funny thing is I’ve only noticed dramatic price increases with shittier quality eggs. My local co-op’s prices have held steady throughout the bird flu pandemic, and they sell fairly local cage free dozens for like half the price of the big chain grocery’s store brand.

I get that many folks relied on eggs as a cheap protein source that’s quick and easy to prepare. I hope people that have poor food security are able to pivot to other cheap proteins like lentils and beans. There’s a little learning curve, and they’re not as quick, but they’re not hard to dress up with aromatics and stock to make a tasty source of protein and fiber.