• Jesus_666@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    “Let me do a check to see if I give you the right blood… Nope, not with a 5. Here’s your blood orange juice.”

    • Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      I can work with this. I summoned a dank pneumonia one time I was doing a ritual with gasoline in the snow. I’ll just boof the blood orange juice and I guarantee whatever monster or dragon or giant cube of slime I’m fighting will be running for the hills after that!

    • RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz
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      1 day ago

      Satan: ”Ok, so you mispronounced beelzebub which would normally give you -2 on the summoning check. However, your virgin blood counts as a superior sacrifice material so it all cancels out. Now, lemme get my dice…”

      • NannerBanner@literature.cafe
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        1 day ago

        I saw a comic recently where the evil cultist tried to sacrifice his virgin friend to gain power/favor from a demon. Only, whoops! The friend had lied about being a virgin, and the cultist was one. Cultist learned just what the hard way is on that one.