I agree but disagree, so far as I’ve noticed, the only thing you really have control over, when raising little people to be big people, is if they do or don’t have trauma. Weirdly enough, they’re like their whole own person and mostly nothing like you, from day dot, and the bits that are like you, they’ll try to snuff out, because ew parents, lame, or something. Probably doesn’t help that I’m a massive goof. There’s no controlling, there’s just walking along side, and helping them with the hard bits. It’s pure chaos. My favourite thing.
don’t worry, they will find a way to blame you and feel traumatized, specially now that trauma is a badge of honor.
I have met many 30 somethings who think thier parents ‘traumatized’ them by being good parents to them, or not ‘good enough’. or who are convinced their parents ruined them because their parents gave them too much privilege… who fantasize about like having bad parents as if it would make them a better person… it’s insane and wild.
also had people lecture me on how my parents, who were poor and uneducated, must have been amazing because their wealthy educated parents were awful and made their life too easy, and mine made my life difficult so they were really good parents…
I agree but disagree, so far as I’ve noticed, the only thing you really have control over, when raising little people to be big people, is if they do or don’t have trauma. Weirdly enough, they’re like their whole own person and mostly nothing like you, from day dot, and the bits that are like you, they’ll try to snuff out, because ew parents, lame, or something. Probably doesn’t help that I’m a massive goof. There’s no controlling, there’s just walking along side, and helping them with the hard bits. It’s pure chaos. My favourite thing.
don’t worry, they will find a way to blame you and feel traumatized, specially now that trauma is a badge of honor.
I have met many 30 somethings who think thier parents ‘traumatized’ them by being good parents to them, or not ‘good enough’. or who are convinced their parents ruined them because their parents gave them too much privilege… who fantasize about like having bad parents as if it would make them a better person… it’s insane and wild.
also had people lecture me on how my parents, who were poor and uneducated, must have been amazing because their wealthy educated parents were awful and made their life too easy, and mine made my life difficult so they were really good parents…
good qol =bad
bad qol = good
???
more like, your grass is greener even if you had none.
it’s wild.
You’re a bad parent