Really though, they pick up on tone and body language and it can make their panic worse. Start making a mental checklist of needs and focus on that. Hold me, diaper, hungry, burps, teething, mom/dad, toy, pet, sleepy, panic. Keep your tone happy and confident, it helps them feel like it’s less of a problem. Right now, you are the god to them, if the god is scared what does that mean for us mortals?
Find your comforts. It may feel like they have preferences, but what they’re responding to is just as much you as it is the stimuli. My boy didn’t understand the noise that magically appeared when he was colic, but he did understand that dad could tackle any fit he had while listening to Dido’s Life for Rent album. Eventually the hopeful melancholy and sleepy tones because a comfort to him as he grew to understand the noise.
Find a stuffy that you and your baby both like. Everyone suggests getting 2 and cycling them so they don’t have to go without if it’s lost or damaged or dirty. I personally found that hard to do because he bonded to an anatomically accurate squid plush from an aquarium I’ve never been to so instead we made it a game, this is how squidly takes his bath. The uniqueness of the item made it easier to find and hard to forget.
Find children shows you can tolerate or enjoy. Sarah and Duck from the BBC did wonders for me, it was quite enough to wear an earbud over and engaging enough to watch if I had to. Bluey seems like a similar choice, and I grew up Scooby doo so I never minded. It will save you the suffering that is children’s media if you curate it before you get there.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or take a break. We’re hardwired to feel bad about not responding when a baby cries, but you’re no good to that baby if you’re no good to yourself. If you need to lock yourself in a bathroom and cry or call family to take over, or just make it through a grocery store without getting puked on, do what you need to do to make it happen. They won’t remember you letting them cry it out but they will remember you being a hood example of mental health.
On that point specifically, hit me up if you’re limited on peers with parenting experience. Shoot me a DM, I’ll give you my contact info. Goes equally for any reader in need. Sometimes you just need a chance to have an adult conversation or say fuck without worry, my doors are always open for that.
Adding to the pile, babies sense your fear.
Really though, they pick up on tone and body language and it can make their panic worse. Start making a mental checklist of needs and focus on that. Hold me, diaper, hungry, burps, teething, mom/dad, toy, pet, sleepy, panic. Keep your tone happy and confident, it helps them feel like it’s less of a problem. Right now, you are the god to them, if the god is scared what does that mean for us mortals?
Find your comforts. It may feel like they have preferences, but what they’re responding to is just as much you as it is the stimuli. My boy didn’t understand the noise that magically appeared when he was colic, but he did understand that dad could tackle any fit he had while listening to Dido’s Life for Rent album. Eventually the hopeful melancholy and sleepy tones because a comfort to him as he grew to understand the noise.
Find a stuffy that you and your baby both like. Everyone suggests getting 2 and cycling them so they don’t have to go without if it’s lost or damaged or dirty. I personally found that hard to do because he bonded to an anatomically accurate squid plush from an aquarium I’ve never been to so instead we made it a game, this is how squidly takes his bath. The uniqueness of the item made it easier to find and hard to forget.
Find children shows you can tolerate or enjoy. Sarah and Duck from the BBC did wonders for me, it was quite enough to wear an earbud over and engaging enough to watch if I had to. Bluey seems like a similar choice, and I grew up Scooby doo so I never minded. It will save you the suffering that is children’s media if you curate it before you get there.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help or take a break. We’re hardwired to feel bad about not responding when a baby cries, but you’re no good to that baby if you’re no good to yourself. If you need to lock yourself in a bathroom and cry or call family to take over, or just make it through a grocery store without getting puked on, do what you need to do to make it happen. They won’t remember you letting them cry it out but they will remember you being a hood example of mental health.
On that point specifically, hit me up if you’re limited on peers with parenting experience. Shoot me a DM, I’ll give you my contact info. Goes equally for any reader in need. Sometimes you just need a chance to have an adult conversation or say fuck without worry, my doors are always open for that.