As the title says, how often do you admit you’re wrong? Is it different when it’s a factual dispute versus something more subjective?

I make an effort to concede early if I’m in error. I think because my mother almost never admits fault. She’ll fall back to “that’s not what I meant” or similar deflections first, and that’s really annoying.

The last big factual error I made was about the distance of walking, and that’s where I learned about Taxicab Geometry ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taxicab_geometry ).

I think some people believe admitting fault is a sign of weakness, but I find it’s more of a power move. It takes strength to do it, and people can tell when you’re sweating and desperate. Usually it leads to resolving the conflict faster and cheaper, too.

(I expect some people will feel the urge to reply they’re never wrong. I’ll file that under never admits fault.)

  • quinacridone@mander.xyz
    2·
    1 day ago

    This is something I need to work on, and its more apparent to me after having a conversation with my mother recently.

    She said something quite unpleasant to my bf, and when I said how hurtful it was to both of us I was met with her denial, her refusal to see how hurtful it was and it was my fault for being upset, and also that I should just move on and forget about it

    If she’d said that it came out wrong, or was sorry to have said something that had landed in a hurtful way etc that’s all I/we would have needed

    Unfortunately i can see this attitude in myself, in the fact I find it near impossible to apologise for anything

    I think my mother has a lot of her own issues around this, and I have my own ‘version’ because of my issues (my autism, and the fact that she’s my mum)

    So I’m now going to do my best to rethink my behaviour and do some self reflection…

    I really don’t want to be like my mother at all

    • jtrek@startrek.websiteOP
      2·
      1 day ago

      I really don’t want to be like my mother at all

      I think this is a big motivator for me. I’ve seen how aggravating it is when someone refuses to admit fault, continuously reaches for excuses and justifications and lies, rather than just shrug and say “Oh. Seems like you were right.” Hell, you don’t even have to explicitly say “I was wrong” most of the time.