It’s 1992. Your mom just took you through the Dairy Queen drive in after supper. It was 30C today, and it’s going to be 35C tomorrow. You’re going to go swimming at the local outdoor pool with your mom, little brother, auntie and favourite cousin, tomorrow though. Mom will probably put on that Blue Rodeo tape on the way back. It’s not your favorite, but you find yourself waiting for the song hooks.

Life is simple and life is good.

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    11 hours ago

    You’re in the middle of death valley in a heat wave.

    It’s hotter than Venus outside.

    Your mom turns the AC on low.

    The 17.4L V8 Gas Guzzler super-extra-big-block engine bogs an imperceptible amount

    The weapons grade CFCs—now banned by the Geneva convention—form icicles on your eyebrows in seconds.