I once saw a guy standing on the edge of a bridge, about to jump. I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!”

He said, “Why shouldn’t I? Nobody cares about me.”

I said, “Well, do you run Linux?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Me too! Desktop or server?”

He said, “Server.”

I said, “Me too! Debian-based or RPM-based?”

He said, “Debian-based.”

I said, “Me too! Debian stable or Ubuntu LTS?”

He said, “Debian stable.”

I said, “Me too! systemd or an alternative init?”

He said, “Alternative init.”

I said, “Me too! runit, OpenRC, or s6?”

He said, “s6.”

I said, “Me too! s6 with s6-rc as the service manager, or s6 with 66?”

He said, “s6-rc.”

I said, “Me too! s6-rc with the full supervision tree defined declaratively, or with hand-rolled run scripts?”

He said, “Hand-rolled run scripts.”

I said, “Die, Poettering apologist!” And I pushed him off.