Context: https://lem.lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/45960248
Image created by @edie@lemmy.encryptionin.space
(Ignore that this is my .ml account, it’s just what I posted this on other comms with)
Context: https://lem.lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/45960248
Image created by @edie@lemmy.encryptionin.space
(Ignore that this is my .ml account, it’s just what I posted this on other comms with)
Removed by mod
deleted by creator
Why are you always at 110% aggression with comrades, and why are you still tolerated?
I am very obviously not “always at 110% aggression with comrades”, i have good and friendly interactions with most users on this site and whenever i have the spoons for it, i put criticism forward in a way that’s less confrontational and more of an effortpost. And guess what, it does not make a fucking difference in regards to how people reply to it. There’s people who can handle criticism and are capable of reflecting on their internalized biases and there’s people who can’t, and no amount of walking on eggshells turns the latter into the former. I’ve seen that over and over again, either you are arguing with somebody who can handle being called out or you don’t. So how hard i go into a discussion like this is dependent on if i have the capacity to write out a little essay about what i find problematic. And if i don’t have that, tough luck.
She does make good points sometimes, including against some of our own users who are being shitty (I wouldn’t say she’s accomplishing that now, though Euclid makes a good point), and I think that buys her a lot of credibility to get away with things.
Also the site still has a huge amount of the user base claiming “bullying works,” so being absurdly aggressive is just kind of par for the course if you can find a way of saying your interlocutor is “actually not a comrade but a social chauvinist” (not her words, just a summary of the idea).
its pretty easy to be against it, infantilized femininity is a patriarchal tool. some people that are against it could be assimilationist in their reasoning but we are all on a niche communist website yk, probably best to trust but verify.
Patriarchy usually works with double binds. Femininity, whether in its infantilized form or not, isn’t just forced on women, it is at the same time ridiculed and seen as lesser.
That means that feminism has to take a two-pronged approach, both liberating women and other not-men from the pressure to perform femininity and removing the stigma from that performance.
Trans women in particular find themselves in a drastically worsened double bind, being forced to constantly prove our femininity while being under perpetual over-scrutinizing of whether we express it in the correct, respectable way.
Unless I’m missing something, the thread being discussed has one comment written in nya speak. If I’m wrong about which thread is being discussed, please do let me know, but like, if I’m not, isn’t a single comment (out of 75), well, it’s nothing, right? And maybe even a little sus that someone is so willing to say “fuck the explicitly queer instance” over a single comment? (1 out of 75, seriously, I can’t believe gramxi and I read the same thread, there must be some mistake!)
i mean i doubt its over a single comment, theres a long history as to why we’re not friends with blahaj. we tried to make it work. we voted on it as a site and everyone that talked to blahaj about this and majority of the mod team here are queer/trans. but blahaj is a very top down website, their very libbed up admins want things their way or no way at all, most of the trans people there at least want access to our trans stuff but ada has stonewalled it. i even got quite a lot of trans people on our side together to talk to her about working together to create a joint community to pull trans people off of reddit and she just showed up solo and shat on us for not wanting to do things 100% her way, basically. then she rage quit the chat. (marcie and some other people also helped with arranging this, so it wasnt even a 100% hexbear endeavor)
also that comment was a pretty old comment maybe they were looking at it when it was first posted.
I wish I had copied some verbiage from gramxi’s comment before they deleted their account so we could quibble a bit more about this, because I don’t think the bit of your comment I just quoted is fair or relevant, but without the original verbiage, it’s a little hard to actually continue the conversation as I want to.
But I’ll make my point anyway, even if it’s not as well-backed as I’d like it to be.
Gramxi was annoyed enough by the thread to make a comment in which they said that there was a lot of nya speak. I’m curious as to how one comment, a single one, could ever constitute a pattern worth commenting on, even if the thread involved only had, say, 5 comments at the time.
Maybe a better way to say this is: I can’t imagine making the complaint gramxi did unless the thread I was complaining about had at least one third (33%) of its comments be written in nya speak. (One third is a little arbitrary, but my point is, I’m not going to complain about a thread being full of nya speak unless there actually is a large proportion of it.) And then at that point, for one comment, a single one to be 1/3 of the thread would mean that the whole thread is only 3 comments. And I’m not going to see any pattern in a 3-comment thread, that’s too few comments!
So I guess I’m saying: I don’t think gramxi’s annoyance with the thread is reasonable, because there is no pattern to be seen in one comment, no matter how few other comments there are in the thread.
Sorry, this is long-winded and I’m having no luck making it shorter. I hope my point comes through!
Fuckk off you are being mean for no reason.
No, you fuck off, cringe culture is reactionary garbage and I call that shit out when I see it.