I mean those people who you look at them and they have the body and responsibilities of a 43 year old but then you hear them talk about other people or other ethnicities or other situations that people are experiencing elsewhere and the person had might as well be a remorseless 3 year old that was raised wrongly… The thing that floors me is hen you meet a very old person, Im talking in their 60s or older, and they start spewing some of the most idiotic, narcisisstic garbage a person could ever talk of… ‘How have you spent all these years learning nothing?!’
Is it really THAT hard to break free of the chains of your terrible childhood and develop just a little empathy , understanding and humanity towards others? I DEFINITELY didnt have the best childhood seeing as how I was bullied and ostracized for decades , even by my parents lol, but I came to realize that ‘Hurt people will hurt people.’ so why am I going to go out of my way to be selfish and make more people who are hurt? But on the other hand I see , and Im sure most of you also have seen, that humans are not a very logicsl species sometimes. We have the potential to be more logical than Einstein but it doesnt always play out like that… We as a species do A LOOOT of things based on anti-logic, emotions, our pains, our traumas, or our cognitive distortions and this in turn sometimes creates more ‘hurt people’ …
Im not saying that humans have gotten worse over time cause anybody here can open up wikipedia and read about all the awful things we used to do to each other , if anything we have gotten better just a little bit. But why are there STILL in the year of 2026 people who choose to just not ‘grow up’ ?
TL;DR too many adults , and even seniors , Ive emcountered have illogical and sometimes psychopathic opinions . Why do so many people choose to not grow up and be more understanding?
What is your take on something like this?
Edit: from what Im seeing there are couple takes I ld agree with 5o explain this phenomena
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there could be neurological disorders like CTE , schizoaffective disorders, etc… that causes an older individual to do and say unusual things …and hurtful things. Cures for these are barely existent so if someone suffers from them? Theyre just out of luck and hvlave to hope they dont do anything too hurtful
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The overal lack of mmental health care , mental health breaks, mental health interventions , and psychiatric medication access globally. Some people are lucky and are born in a region that has such things easily. …others sadly arent…
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Some people get stuck in a cycle of self destructive cognitive distortions that impairs their ability to grow. there is the possibility that it is a reactive defensive mechanism that one has in response to our very flawed societies that humans have evolved from thousands of years that although it was probably w useful reaction thousands of years ago the current world is very much differenr than it was thousands or years ago . So these cognitive distortions become detrimental more than they are beneficial. Very few people are born innately malicious and/or with an antisocial personality disorder , but a person can clearly become both of these things with enough prompting. And not all humans are the same we all have different genetics ans different stories , all because one oerson reacts in a healthy and self-loving manner to malicious stimulation that doesnt mean all other peoole will do the same. This also has the chance to lead to echo chambering or self imoosed isolation and both if these makes recovery and interventions from external sources more difficult. So basicallt both nurture and nature can play a role in the self-destructive practices abd thought process a person conducts in response to the sad and lonely society of today.
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Humans havent really evolved to or adapted well to modern society. Like empathy of other groups or for other groups of people on the other side of the planet may be difficult for some people to understand and learn. Humans have created and stuck tio ‘outgroups’ and ‘ingroups’ for millenia and very rarely have humans acknowledge the truth that ‘We are ALL part of. the ingroup since we are ALL humans’ . I dont think this completely excuses a person to treat other groups of people in awful ways though.
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Soceties that have encouraged ignorance all in the name of listening only to a few politicians and very rich people will clearly create more and more ignorant peoples. And this clearly occurs tor the detriment of those people who cjoose to be ignorant. Being very rich or a politician doesnt mean that you kniw everything that each human needs
I’ve noticed that there are two distinct mindsets in people who have been hurt in one way or another.
The first is “I had it bad, so I don’t want others to experience the same.”
The second is “I had it bad, so why would anyone else have it better?”
I think they genuinely feel cheated when someone else gets something they never got. And they take it out on the people who did get that thing instead of holding the people accountable who denied them that thing. Even if they didn’t deserve to get hurt, that is a shitty outlook to have on life and it’s not going to do anyone any good.
I’ve seen both of these views. In my experience, the second often follows the first. After the person has tried to be an amazing person, often for years, and then their entire society refuses to let them.
Personally, I was the kind person who didn’t want others experiencing what I did. My entire community beat the hell out of me. Over and over and over. People don’t like you being kind.
They make up rumors about you having bad intentions, and that you’re a bad seed. They judge you by every little mistake. They deny you opportunity after opportunity.
Honestly? I was raped at 10, locked in a clothing chest around 5, beaten non-stop because I liked to draw and write, slung around the house like a ragdoll, strapped to a chair with duct tape, called a pedophile at 15 – because I hugged my little brother in school, told I was a school shooter. My own family kept their kids away from me. I talked grown ass adults through suicide. I was friends with kids who had none. Only for those kids to turn around and join in. Teachers did it too, to be popular with the kids. Even my own family. I’ve had food dumped on me. Drinks poured on me.
This was 24 hours per day. 7 days per week. All because I could be gay. Whenever I tried to fight back 4 or 5 of them would gang up on me. When I finally got friends, it was usually because a teacher bribed them. They’d wait until we were alone, act like I was the best person in the world. Whenever they’d see me in public, they’d yell out, “hey buddy.” Then go back and start rumors on me. The 2 people who finally decided, and were allowed, to come over were forced to sleep outside.
It was always something stupid: my voice was too high. I didn’t shave my legs. I did shave my legs. I had the wrong color shirt. I was too quiet. Etc.
Then I was preached on 3 times per week, about how I was going to Hell. But not directly. I’m not even gay.
I wasn’t allowed to have friends over. I wasn’t allowed to visit friends. They could be “bad influences.” I wasn’t allowed at school functions. I wasn’t allowed to go outside. I wasn’t allowed to modify my bedroom in any way. If I did, the modifications were thrown out. As a 12-year-old dude, my room looked like a 50-year-old granny’s. We lived in the middle of nowhere, and they wouldn’t show me how to drive. I loved wiring shit up and electronics. That was all thrown away, became it was untidy.
They had me taking care of my siblings (feeding, administering meds, getting ready for school bathing, etc), 2 bedridden grandparents, talking my normal parents out of suicide. I never developed essential social skills, and thought something was wrong with me. That I was broken in some way. How could so many well-integrated people be so wrong? I was afraid I was going to break others. And didn’t want to talk to them, in case I did. So, I started looking for what broke me. I needed to make sense of it all and process.
After my grandmother passed, my mother told me I needed to walk to work every day, and ask one of the teenagers there to teach me how to drive.
At 33, I broke away. And I still do not have proper social skills at 37. I am completely isolated. I know it’s not my fault. So, whose is it?
All I wanted were friends to go to concerts with, go fishing with, work on cars with, camping, hang-gliding, starting a band, doing random shit together.
I’ve seen a few therapists: the first one pumped me for information, then fed it to my parents who were the issues. The second told me my life was a lie and that my emotions weren’t real, triggering 2 decades of PTSD. And the third was broken by the shit ton more stuff that I haven’t included here, got stuck in a 2-hour-loop of, “it’s not your fault,” then didn’t want to see me anymore. I think I broke her.
I begged God, for 30 years, to make it stop. God never showed.
I was reading at a college level in elementary school. I passed a mock NCLEX and ASVAB without even studying for either one. My religious mother, who thought the Internet was from Satan, wouldn’t let me have it to work from home while caring for my grandmother. So I had to sneak into her room at night and use her hotspot for a $60/hr job. Then the Internet was cut off when I tried to go to college, mid-semester. I owe $2,000 in student loans. And now my head is so full of anxiety, I can’t keep my ideas straight anymore.
If it isn’t my fault, whose is it? I am 37 years old and, because of bad social skills, I have never had a community, despite not wanting to harm others my entire life, but all of my society wanted to harm me.
And then people tell you to just get over it. My heart is failing.
Also something that embitters me about society js that we as people have such an easy time treating someone like a monster and eveb turning them into a monster…
But then when this hurt person wants to find resourfes and people to deal with their trauma , trauma that theyve recently have realized has broken them thoroughly and makes them think in awful ways, such as a community or a ‘tribe’ of their own to get connected to , very cheeap publicly funded mental health interventions and medications we typicaally dont have those things for that person or each of those rhings is available in varying amounts for different people.
Humans NEED community. Humans NEED physical affection. Humans NEED appreciation. Humans NEED occasional vulnerableness. Humans sometimes NEED mental health care. Humans NEED a lot of things that many of our current societies says that a person should feel guilty that they need these things. What I mean is I find it oodd that many humans are treated in inhuman ways but then mostt people in society act surprised when that bullied or impoverished or ostracized person in psrticular acts in inhuman ways. We are not allowed to create a monster then be surprised that we have created a monster…
But then my question becomes why do most adults just accept this modern sick society that creates monsters and acts surprised when these same harmed people act out in monstrous ways? Where have been the mass rebellions for change that most adults should be partaking in if they want to see permanent positive changes?
“It is no measure of ‘health’ to be seen as ‘healthy’ in societies that are so profoundly sick” -Kishnamurti
Im very sorry for your pain. If itll help I dont think youre as sick as those who treated you in disgusting ways thought. I dont think youre a monster all because you desire what humans need which is community.
I don’t need therapy. I needed a group.
I wasn’t the one that was damaged. Society was.
Also I am once again very sorry for your pain. I am saddened that we have created a world where it is seen as ‘normal’ that a decent person doesnt have any community of any sort.
I already know that there is gonna be a landmark set of studies or meta analyses that comes out one day that proves that genuine human conmections and genuine human touch are necessities for human life.
Also there will be another landmark set studies or meta analyses that show that some people are in situations so bad that they dont even need therapy, they just need a complete improvement of their life AND a community to help them and appreciate their hard work along their journey to improvement.
Damn Im very sorry. Youve been through way too much 🫂
Thank you for saying this.
I think that theres another aspect to this flawed outlook on life that I want to point out . Like if someone feels cheated by others who got something they didnt get and they feel bitter about this and then they make efforts to harm and exclude those who got that thing, doesnt that make them get trapped in sort of a cycle where they continually isolate others who got that thing , even the people of that group who could genuinely help them?
Like if you get bullied by a bunch of White people simply cause youre not White and you decide to just completely ostracise all White people? THAT is a bad plan. Youre ostracizing an entire group of people , there are many different types of people in each groups of peoples. There are clearly many White people who knows that all non-White people are their equals and treat them as such. If you feel bitter towards all White people you will miss out on important life lessoms that some of them can teach you and even some important life lessons you can teach them. If you feel saddened cause your mom or dad or both said that they will never raise you or see you again when you were younger , being bitter towards people who had been raised by both parents is bad cause some of them have important life lessons about being raised by both parents that you may never have had heard otherwise.
You can even apply this lesson in other ways. Like all because some Muslims are hardcore Saudi-prince-loving wahhabists that doesnt mean you should ostracize them all. All because some French people support the current colonization of Kanaky that doesnt mean all French people do so ostracizjng all french people is nonsensical. You could apply this to any group. A few bad apples doesnt ruin the fresh bunch.
I used to have A LOOOT of internalized racism. I saw Black people as not worthy of listening to even though I myself am Black. I basically saw only White people as worthy of listening to about ANY topic. You should have seen my jaw hit the floor when I realized that there were Black people out there with doctorates who were equally as qualified and knowledgable of certain subjects as any equally qualified White person. I was even more shocked when I started watching videos of Nlack people who went through similar experiences as me and were talking in depth about it!