The god damned barista at starbucks woked me. She’s woked me every time I’ve set foot in there. I make them write on my cup “TRUMP 2028” but instead she calls out “Mr. Little Weiner!” and I slink over and take my cup and she laughs.

I’m currently sick and my dog woke me this morning by going to town on his toe beans. Anyone else and I’d be upset, but I forgave him cause he chilled in bed with me all day

phone bad (but only because it woke me up)

(it woke me up because i set an alarm)

My wife.

I saw a 4d bee in my dream, I was like wtf is that and woke up. Wtf is how I feel.