To be succinct and private… My incubator worked me for weeks to build rapport and trust with me in my younger days, to get me to tell her a something that she would ultimately, and immediately use and weaponize against me and others.
This wasnt the first time I tried to have a relationship with her, but it did finally open my eyes and become the last. In the many many decades since, I’ve not so much as acknowledge her existence when crossing paths.
This feels quite minor compared to most of the stuff here, but something that has stuck with me.
I was on holiday with my parents when I was younger - maybe around 12 or 13. We were on a short boat trip, and I noticed my dad was wearing a baseball cap. In my mind I had this cute scene of me taking the hat off his head and putting it on myself, and all of us laughing. Kinda wholesome. But the second I reach for the hat he whacks me hard around the back of my head. I was more confused than anything - why did he instantly resort to violence? I hated the injustice of it; the image in my mind of doing something fun, something you’d see other families doing, but then the actual result being the complete opposite. I never understood it, but then I’ve never had much in common with my dad.
I think your dad hitting you for no reason is a very valid, very not-minor issue friend.
We’re not in the olympics, We’re not racing for the gold medal in misery. We don’t need to compare and rank what we’ve been through against others to find a winner.
What you went through shattered the image you had of father and family, and is very real and valid.
Thank you for saying so ❤️