Kid leadership structure brings out the best in the older kids - often folks will rise to what you expect of them. Expect them to have good ideas, to be kind, to be inclusive and compassionate, to give you honest feedback, to be willing to take feedback themselves. Acknowledge and appreciate their struggles and their growth. It means so so much to get feedback from adults who aren’t your parents at that age!

Good kid leadership makes it cool to be inclusive = healthy group. If insecurity creates cliques and social hierarchy = not safe. Kids might admire and respect you, but what is “cool” will be decided by their peers… so you pretty sincerely will need help and advice from the older kids to keep the group healthy.

And don’t forget they aren’t just emotional / spiritual / intellectual - kids have bodies. Bring them outside. Play silly physical cooperative non-competitive games. Once they have had exciting shared physical experiences they will be that much more able to engage with each other on deeper levels.

It was very formative for me to be part of those groups. I deeply appreciate the people who make those experiences available - especially folks like you who are earnestly trying to do it well! 🙂

One group I was in would regularly do a white board list of “what is good / appreciate” and “what we can do better / want more or less of”. It was a very positive and egalitarian way for kids to give feedback to leadership as well as to each other. Felt great to anyone who was publicly appreciated and very positive modeling for being open to feedback / valuing improvement. Gave us a real sense of ownership. It wasn’t just the adult leaders making a program for us - it was us helping each other create a group that we wanted to be part of.