What made you start to realise it was fucked up? Is it when you realised you’d been used rather than loved? And how might it affect how you’re able to connect with people now?
Just trying to understand how we go from celebrating a situation to feeling scared by it.
I saw her at the store one day a few years ago. We exchanged pleasantries and all that you’d do seeing an Ex, which is how I saw her in the moment. Something bothered me for a while after that. I couldn’t believe how short she was! Like she was less than 5 feet but I didn’t think I was a full foot and a half taller than her.
That’s because I wasn’t much taller than her then. I hadn’t finished growing. And then I remembered how it all went down. Realizing it could have had meaning to it, with someone I at least knew and maybe cared about. The fact that even my parents were just fine with it started to make me sick.
Started thinking about relationships in my adult life and how none of them have been satisfying. I’ve never been close enough to anyone to really have that kind of bond with. Being used and praised for it is a mindfuck.
![Realization [PizzaCake]](https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/58eacea0-b255-4a2d-b579-35265a7cffee.png){kind=link}
What made you start to realise it was fucked up? Is it when you realised you’d been used rather than loved? And how might it affect how you’re able to connect with people now?
Just trying to understand how we go from celebrating a situation to feeling scared by it.
I saw her at the store one day a few years ago. We exchanged pleasantries and all that you’d do seeing an Ex, which is how I saw her in the moment. Something bothered me for a while after that. I couldn’t believe how short she was! Like she was less than 5 feet but I didn’t think I was a full foot and a half taller than her.
That’s because I wasn’t much taller than her then. I hadn’t finished growing. And then I remembered how it all went down. Realizing it could have had meaning to it, with someone I at least knew and maybe cared about. The fact that even my parents were just fine with it started to make me sick.
Started thinking about relationships in my adult life and how none of them have been satisfying. I’ve never been close enough to anyone to really have that kind of bond with. Being used and praised for it is a mindfuck.
This sounds exactly like the book The Reader, a fictional story but eerily similar to this comment :(
It doesn’t sound like a book I’d enjoy, but I’ll check it out. I force myself to read things I don’t enjoy from time to time.