I went normie > libertarian > liberal > socialist > anarchist. I’ve been on a journey. In a sense my viewpoint now is a synthesis of my initial instincts and what I learned since. Thesis: libertarian, antithesis: socialist, synthesis: anarchist.
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
I came close to getting sucked into libertarianism back in college. I had a roommate who was college libertarian, and he had a whole friend group that were pretty libertarian. And he was working for the Kinky Friedman campaign so our apartment was filled with Kinky for Texas governor signs. Who didn’t love Kinky Friedman? Especially with the other options.
But the more and more we talked with each other the more and more I started thinking hey this is kind of fucking crazy. One of them was convinced that we should get rid of the US Military and replace them with Mercenaries. Mercenaries. Cuz that’s always a great concept. That always works well for a country. Slightly unrelated but another one of them said that the Postal Service, the band which I think has had to change it’s name, was better than Michael Jackson’s music. So clearly they were all out of their minds. And I pulled away.
I think most of them grew out of it too thankfully.
I was fortunate enough to have a classmate foist his copy of The Fountainhead on me when I was 17. Only got as far as the “rape is fine, actually” part, but hated it so much I skipped the whole libertarian phase and went straight to socialism.
Thank you, Dana, you have terrible taste.
Imma be real this “LiBeRtArIaNs” bullshit is new, misguided, and region specific, and even within that region is debatable.
Small “L” (goddamn sans serif fonts) “libertarian” is literally just the diametric opposition if “authoritarian.” That’s it.
“Big L” “Libertarian” for some reason has come to mean The American Libertarian Party™ specifically. “They’ve been taken over by the right” maybe, sure, but they can’t have the entire concept of libertarianism no more than the US Democrat party is the entire embodiment of democracy, they’re named after those concepts but those concepts still exist without the bounds of the US party and the whims of said US parties’ current leaders. Even if the Libertarian Party™ happened to perfectly align with your views on what “liberatarian” (as in the antithesis of authoritarian) means at any point in the future, they still don’t have ownership of the concept simply because they’re named that.
In reality, “libertarian” describes any number of people and ideologies as long as they’re anti-authoritarian, including anarchism, and just like anarchism you can find many examples of people who claim it but do not understand it in the slightest, or seek to pervert it to their will intentionally.
Don’t let authoritarians poison you against a word for a concept in an attempt to sway you to their side.
I understand your point, but it’s a losing battle. Words change as people use them. Language evolves. A lot of modern vocabulary is bastardized from its origin. It’s not authoritarians necessarily poisoning language, even though it can be.
Socialism “was” a poisoned term, that I think has slowly returned to it’s meaning.
That would mean the concept of “literality” no longer exists, but you just used it, (I’m taking your words literally, to mean that you believe “literal” now means “figurative” in perpetuity) so it must still exist. I also just used it, so even if you meant “literally” figuratively, the literal definition still exists, because I just used it.
You see why we can’t just say “oh welp words change” now? They do but also if nothing has meaning just stop speaking languages at this point because they’re, well, meaningless.
Hell I’ll give you another popular example, you ever watched South Park? You remember the biker episode? They argue the same thing you do here, that words change meaning, but about a different word (and with a better case for it, no less). You wanna defend the evolved use of that word publicly here right now?
My god, I was being facetious in that last comment. I was merely highlighting that your frustration was not going to change the course of people’s use of language.
Kinda similar. Went from liberal, to socdem, to anarchist, to Marxist-Leninist. My growth since becoming an ML has been in getting a deeper understanding of scientific socialism, as well as getting organized and putting theory to practice.
You might find Kim Stanley Robinson’s Mars(Red, Green, Blue) series of books interesting. In them he details a completely different economic system where corporations do not exist. It was fascinating and I would have been happy to read an entire book just about the economic and political ideas he expressed in the Mars books.
I was on the path to being a far right ethno-fascist CHUD because of how I was treated at large by the local bit of society I grew up in. Thank god I went to college at all, it started me reading and understanding politics and how we got where we are today. I started shifting left pretty hard when Obama was elected, saw the Tea Party for what it was, and seeing the “field” of GOP candidates and hell even Democrat ones.
I went normie > libertarian > liberal > socialist > anarchist. I’ve been on a journey. In a sense my viewpoint now is a synthesis of my initial instincts and what I learned since. Thesis: libertarian, antithesis: socialist, synthesis: anarchist.
Same. The branching point was libertarian, or discovering that they just meant they wanted to replace government with corporations.
Libertarian police
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
This feels like a short story based on the world of snowcrash
This aged well
I came close to getting sucked into libertarianism back in college. I had a roommate who was college libertarian, and he had a whole friend group that were pretty libertarian. And he was working for the Kinky Friedman campaign so our apartment was filled with Kinky for Texas governor signs. Who didn’t love Kinky Friedman? Especially with the other options.
But the more and more we talked with each other the more and more I started thinking hey this is kind of fucking crazy. One of them was convinced that we should get rid of the US Military and replace them with Mercenaries. Mercenaries. Cuz that’s always a great concept. That always works well for a country. Slightly unrelated but another one of them said that the Postal Service, the band which I think has had to change it’s name, was better than Michael Jackson’s music. So clearly they were all out of their minds. And I pulled away.
I think most of them grew out of it too thankfully.
I was fortunate enough to have a classmate foist his copy of The Fountainhead on me when I was 17. Only got as far as the “rape is fine, actually” part, but hated it so much I skipped the whole libertarian phase and went straight to socialism. Thank you, Dana, you have terrible taste.
Imma be real this “LiBeRtArIaNs” bullshit is new, misguided, and region specific, and even within that region is debatable.
Small “L” (goddamn sans serif fonts) “libertarian” is literally just the diametric opposition if “authoritarian.” That’s it.
“Big L” “Libertarian” for some reason has come to mean The American Libertarian Party™ specifically. “They’ve been taken over by the right” maybe, sure, but they can’t have the entire concept of libertarianism no more than the US Democrat party is the entire embodiment of democracy, they’re named after those concepts but those concepts still exist without the bounds of the US party and the whims of said US parties’ current leaders. Even if the Libertarian Party™ happened to perfectly align with your views on what “liberatarian” (as in the antithesis of authoritarian) means at any point in the future, they still don’t have ownership of the concept simply because they’re named that.
In reality, “libertarian” describes any number of people and ideologies as long as they’re anti-authoritarian, including anarchism, and just like anarchism you can find many examples of people who claim it but do not understand it in the slightest, or seek to pervert it to their will intentionally.
Don’t let authoritarians poison you against a word for a concept in an attempt to sway you to their side.
I understand your point, but it’s a losing battle. Words change as people use them. Language evolves. A lot of modern vocabulary is bastardized from its origin. It’s not authoritarians necessarily poisoning language, even though it can be.
Socialism “was” a poisoned term, that I think has slowly returned to it’s meaning.
Example: Nice
If that’s the case than literally now literally always means “figuratively.”
And sometimes, it does, when used incorrectly or sarcastically, but that doesn’t mean that the literal definition of “literally” is no more.
Literally, yes
That would mean the concept of “literality” no longer exists, but you just used it, (I’m taking your words literally, to mean that you believe “literal” now means “figurative” in perpetuity) so it must still exist. I also just used it, so even if you meant “literally” figuratively, the literal definition still exists, because I just used it.
You see why we can’t just say “oh welp words change” now? They do but also if nothing has meaning just stop speaking languages at this point because they’re, well, meaningless.
Hell I’ll give you another popular example, you ever watched South Park? You remember the biker episode? They argue the same thing you do here, that words change meaning, but about a different word (and with a better case for it, no less). You wanna defend the evolved use of that word publicly here right now?
My god, I was being facetious in that last comment. I was merely highlighting that your frustration was not going to change the course of people’s use of language.
I’m not arguing that definitions are meaningless.
Chill.
Kinda similar. Went from liberal, to socdem, to anarchist, to Marxist-Leninist. My growth since becoming an ML has been in getting a deeper understanding of scientific socialism, as well as getting organized and putting theory to practice.
You might find Kim Stanley Robinson’s Mars(Red, Green, Blue) series of books interesting. In them he details a completely different economic system where corporations do not exist. It was fascinating and I would have been happy to read an entire book just about the economic and political ideas he expressed in the Mars books.
Interesting, I’ll have to add them to my to be read list! Thanks!
I feel like normie=liberal though
Not where I grew up it wasn’t.
I was on the path to being a far right ethno-fascist CHUD because of how I was treated at large by the local bit of society I grew up in. Thank god I went to college at all, it started me reading and understanding politics and how we got where we are today. I started shifting left pretty hard when Obama was elected, saw the Tea Party for what it was, and seeing the “field” of GOP candidates and hell even Democrat ones.