I honestly hate myself for still feeling this way at 23. Whenever I’m out, I always feel like the ugliest girl in the room, and it literally makes me feel completely worthless. It sucks watching how nicely everyone treats beautiful women. Nobody ever says anything mean to them. Guys are always looking out for them, and other girls always have their back. They get this pass in life that I’ve never had. No one has ever helped or protected me except my parents.I’ve learned to just rely on myself, because my parents won’t be around forever and nobody else gives a damn about me. Maybe this is how it should be.
I used daily affirmations to reprogram my brain and love myself limitlessly.
after I transitioned I struggled with these same feelings. A friend sent me this meme:
I loved this and I took it to my therapist and I said ‘I want this but obviously I can’t use this’ and my therapist asked me why I couldn’t use it. She taught me how to do verbal affirmations, out loud so your auditory system processes them directly into your brain. I spent months telling myself out loud every night how kind and loving to myself I was. That I loved myself limitlessly. That I took such good care of myself because I loved myself so much. That I was beautiful exactly how I am.
It was faking it at first but over time it worked because you never met a girl who loves herself as much as I do. I was able to wipe away decades of toxic self and external programming with a few months of this practice.
I believe that we have to be our own champions in this world. Beauty is very subjective individually but if you can see yourself as beautiful that’s all that truly matters because it affects how you hold yourself and present to the world and people can’t help but respect that in a way. I know there are lots of women who may be objectively prettier than I am but it doesn’t matter I’m gorgeous and I love myself limitlessly and I spend my time with people who treat me with respect, compassion and love.
There are many paths but this one worked for me. Therapy is really important. Good luck sister!
🖤 thank you for writing this
Can you remember how long it took to stop feeling like faking it?
I’ve tried this stuff but never really stuck with it, I’d be keen to hear any elaboration you may have to offer
I did them while walking in the park at the evening, for as long as I could. I would walk for an hour each night but would not do to the m when others were near and I would get bored so maybe 25-20m a night actively. I did this for months.
At one point a month in I had this thought how many times do I need to hear this before it works?
I thought back to the countless number of times my parents had told me that I was a failure and worthless and all the other horrible names. Years and years of their abuse I endured. And then my own thoughts of worthlessness for years after I got away from them.
I realized I had to say it to myself until my mind had heard the good things more than it had the bad things. And it eventually worked and I didn’t feel the need to say the words anymore because they were my heart. I love myself so much :)
I did this again for needles I had a bad needle phobia enough to cry during covid vaccines. That took me 4 weeks of nightly affirmations before i was brave enough to inject myself. Shit works.
wow, OK - that’s a huge effort!
I can see it’s worth it. I’m not sure why I’m apathetic about this, but I feel genuinely intimidated that it won’t work or don’t want to feel dumb about it. How silly…
Looking silly is often the price of admission for improvement. Therapy and its homework often feels dumb. And this stuff takes time; but even if it doesn’t help, putting in this effort, accepting looking silly, and doing it anyways tells your brain that you’re worth doing such things for, and it can help you try the next thing more fully too. That said, they do work.
It does feel silly but at the end of the day it was one of the best things I ever for myself in my life. A true act of self love and self care.
Affirmations feel like a Jedi mind trick… Every time I practice them I think to myself “this is stupid, no way this will work” but dammit they work so well!
It is a way to gather courage over many days in a way, right?
100%!