Only two courses were uploaded to the school website place, but by reading the syllabi for each course my heart is pounding.

This is the first semester where I will be taking a seminar course, as I am in my final year. I went over the requirements and it is asking a lot from someone with horrible anxiety. It may sound silly but I have written time and time again about how hard speaking in class and presenting is for me, even asking a question or having to converse with another student makes my bones ache. I do not know why this happens but maybe it is my body tensing up for a fight or to bolt.

My other class is the last political science class I will be taking, thank god, and it is about civil war. While going through that syllabus I quickly noticed just how much is being assigned and graded. Not only do I have two quizzes, I also have to make my own quizzes based off the lecture and reading materials. Furthermore we will be made to do peer reviews, self assessments, and a whole presentation plus the research paper at the end of the semester. Thankfully the quizzes and the peer reviews are all anonymous so we have no idea who wrote what quiz and which paper we are critiquing.

I tend to overreact a lot, last semester when I read the syllabus I had a whole breakdown crying to my mom on the phone, so I feel like this is what is happening again and I will probably be fine after communicating with my professors and actually seeing how the class works in person. But even so my anxiety is not going away. I guess I am writing here because I was hoping to know if anyone has felt similarly to me, or can give me some insight into how these higher level courses work because I feel very worried I am not built for this, but I want to be.

Sorry for the anxious rant. I do look forward to continuing the chronicles starting tomorrow.