You put out headlines with trump in the title to get the clicks. This is what you’ve been signing up for and now you’re being replaced assholes.
This week, the White House sank to a new low on that front, holding a first-of-its-kind “New Media Press Briefing.” While inviting journalists from smaller, less established outlets to the White House is ostensibly a good idea, that’s not what the administration did. Indeed, instead of inviting actual journalists to the event, the White House populated it with a slew of friendly influencers who were all too happy to kiss the president’s ass and ask White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt the softest of softball questions. It was bullshit questions and bullshit answers all the way down.
Leavitt kicked the briefing off by bragging about the administration’s various “accomplishments” over the past 100 years, er sorry, I meant days. “As I promised at my first briefing as press secretary back in January, the Trump White House will speak to all media outlets and personalities—not just the legacy media who traditionally has covered this institution,” Leavitt said.___
Colors you’ve never see — you’ve never heard of these colors, he says, and many people are saying, I saw a mantis shrimp the other — can you believe — and mantis shrimp were treated very badly, what’s going on, and he said he’s never seen such a color, but they don’t report on that, the crooked lying media, I tell ya, if a mantis shrimp just one time — if, right in the mouth, if one of these journalists had to say it right to their face, one of these mantis shrimp, they wouldn’t last one second against — I’ve seen how fast these guys punch, believe me.
Man, I’ve seen many attempts that don’t go off the rails enough, but this one is just… Chef’s kiss.