“Brother, I cannot tell you how terrible it feels to be back.” A newly resurrected Hulk Hogan lamented in an interview, pasta sause dripping from his brow.

Last Sunday, local Italian ski shop owner Trent Dundleccino performed what he thought would be a pretty standard necromancy ritual. “I grew up with wrestling in the 80s and 90s, man. I just wanted to see my hero Macho Man again.” Unfortunately the Gen X wrestling fan performed the ritual whilst eating a delicious lasagna and dropped some pasta sauce into the ritual circle as the spell took effect.

“What came back was Pastamania, brother.” Hulk Hogan gurgled in his half man, half pasta dish state.

Instead of the Macho Man he expected, the addition of Trents pasta dish instead summoned a pasta infused Hulk Hogan, much to Trents horror.

“Every old school wrestling fan knows that Hulk Hogan is like, the extreme opposite of Macho Man! I hate Hulk Hogan! He’s racist! A union buster! A total narc!”

However Trent soon realized that he could find a silver lining in his predicament. Zombies are bound to their summoners, so Trent has been commanding Hogan to atone by donating parts of his pasta flesh to various activist groups.

When questioned about how he feels about his new life, Hogan replied “The Hulkster can feel them all chowing down.”