MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
A person can do both. But my words of don’t be shitty won’t carry as much weight as them not getting laid. So both is a far more effective choice then only one.
I will also add two more. Women should stop having babies with shitty men, as they don’t teach thier sons not to be shitty, and men who get women pregnant need to step up and make sure thier son’s don’t grow up to be shitty men.
It’s much more complicated than that. If only it were only this easy.
So many get rose colored glasses in early stage dating. We often become our best versions of ourselves, or… project the best versions, early in dating.
Then once comfortable, the gaurd comes down, the truth of who they are comes to light, and people get hurt. Often though, now heart strings are in place, and … name a worse duo, people pleasers/selfish people.
Yes yes, it’s all women’s fault that men are shitty. Thanks for enlightening me!