MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
No, I don’t think so. It’s not a first story in the news and not first comments on lemmy trying to say that women in the mountains depend on men for survival. This is months old trend so I don’t think my reaction is ‘knee-jerk’. I also don’t feel personally affected by it in any way so I don’t think I’m being emotional. I simply don’t think that when a man and a woman go into the mountains together man becomes automatically responsible for the woman. And I don’t think reading the rest of the article will change my mind about it. I think when a woman decides to go hiking with someone it’s also her responsibility to make sure it’s safe. When I go hiking with my girlfriend she often puts limits on when and where can we go. She would not go with me on a multi day hike because she knows it’s beyond her capabilities. I wouldn’t be able to convince her to do it because she’s a grown adult and she makes her own decisions. Maybe there are some crazy situations where psychopaths manipulate women to put them in dangerous situation and abandon them but I’m yet to find a reliable report about it. Even the stories in the article are all nonsense (yes, I read it at your insistence and it’s just more sexist BS). A women left on a trail by her male AND female friends continues hiking alone on a loop train instead of turning around. A women left by a partner is rescued by a ‘“very nice man from Norway” who carried her backpack’. Because her backup was to heavy? Did she expect that her partner will carry it for her? A women with vertigo left by a partner that left to retrieve a camera (doesn’t say if he was coming back for her or not). And a women that got lost in a forest but made it home after all. The article says that “They may not have been carrying the right supplies or enough water, or were not familiar with the terrain, making them feel vulnerable” but doesn’t provide any examples of that. It’s all just “women can’t be left alone in the mountains because it’s too dangerous for them”.
You read the excerpt and then were so enraged by the supposed sexism that you commented at length without even reading the article
Oh like the fucking guy who was convicted of manslaughter after leaving his girlfriend on a hike? A conviction isn’t reliable enough of a report for you?
I definitely wasn’t enraged. You can stop trying to gaslight me. Just say you disagree. Trying to dismiss my arguments because they are ‘too emotional’ is weird.
I think this entire trial and conviction were sexist. Adam Bielecki left Małek on Broad Peak and he wasn’t prosecuted. Élisabeth Revol left Tomasz Mackiewicz on Nanga Parbat and she wasn’t prosecuted. No one there claimed that because they were more experienced they were legally responsible for the other climber. In this case they basically claimed that his girlfriend didn’t knew that climbing the highest peak in Switzerland (?) is difficult and she should be prepared. It was her boyfriends responsibility to make all decisions for her and make sure she survives. He wasn’t there as a guide but as a equal partner. They were both ethically responsible for each other but claiming some legal responsibility there was insane. I completely disagree with the negligent manslaughter verdict and I think it’s sexist.
Yeah clearly not upset at all when you first commented /s
I don’t know how you write your comments but I really don’t have to be foaming at the mouth to type ‘fucking’. When I write my comments I sometimes give them some specific tone to better express the idea and the tone doesn’t have to 100% match my emotional state. For example sometimes I will type ‘lol’ without actually laughing out loud. I can also type ‘this is outrageous’ if I’m trying to say I really disagree with it without actually being outraged. I don’t think I’m the only one that does it.
Then it’s not everyone else’s fault that they read a certain tone from your writing. That’s on you.
I’m not assigning fault here. I’m just saying that the tone of my comments is no the same as my emotional state. You’re trying to use a tone of my comments to dismiss my arguments as too emotional. You took couple of strongly worded sentences to mean I’m enraged and having knee-jerk emotional reaction. That’s gaslighting. If a men did this to a women it would be considered abuse.
(ok, maybe I am assigning fault here. I’m just not sure if you’re doing this on purpose and I’m not affected by it so I’m not really complaining, just pointing it out)
Men do that to women all the time and that’s why I was being snarky and throwing it back at you.
If you don’t want a certain tone read from your comments, don’t put that tone into it.
I’m fine with reading tone from my comments, I’m not that fine with gaslighting. I’m also not sure how I feel about being abusive to get back at men. I don’t think it’s helping anyone.