I came to tell my boss about my mental problems, that caused me to cancel my pto at the last minute only to re put it in next day. It has been in for a week and everything was ready to go.
First texted about it wanting to talk. Ignored. Bring up in morning meeting " no I don’t have time we will talk later"
I linger in the office to talk to his boss or him whoever showed first. He finally calls me back because he sees me waiting outside his bosses office.
I opened by saying “sorry about that communication my brain was broke, this time of year is really hard for…” Was interrupted. Told “you’re an adult, don’t say that. I don’t care about your reasons. I haven’t read any emails you sent.” Are you taking it or not?"
I’ve never had such a toxic statement come from the person who is supposed to look out for their employees wellbeing. They at least act like they have your best interest at heart.
Also getting confirmation you don’t ever read anything I send.
I’ve dealt with toxicity before. But to directly be told I don’t give a fuck about you is a bit much for me.
Machismo should be eradicated from the earth. Although I am sure they would say the same about sensitive ass men like me.
Tldr: What’s an event that made you realize it was time to move in to another job?
When I am dealing with deception, or dishonesty.
I have owned a business twice, and partially run another on the back office side.
Thing is, business is hard. You may not realize how often the business is on the brink of failure. That can be super stressful. Things often look different from an outsider’s perspective that does not interact with the books. Cash flow is the super critical factor. Employees are the biggest expense that is very difficult to deal with. In many cases, there is no connection between each employee and revenue. So it is hard to separate perception of the burden from the person as a human. People management sucks for this reason. It is best to run the books and back office separate from people managers. Thing is, the type of person you want managing the back office is likely terrible at people management.
I am this kind of asshole. I do not manage people unless I have to. I do care, a whole lot in fact, on the logical empathy side. I am just not very in tune with other people’s emotions in the moment. If I have a ton on my plate, I will skip what I am able to. I’m not actually trying to justify being a jerk. It is not an excuse. I am often just unaware and focused on other things. I do not take “me” to work. I do the job for which I am paid. It sucks, but it is not personal to me unless someone fucks with my pay.
Not trying to make excuses or call you out. I am just saying, it might not be as you imagined. Sounds like they do not value you as much as you would like. If you are able to find better, go for it. I would not walk into the void over it without a replacement.
This was a really great answer, and I appreciate your perspective. Things aren’t always what they appear to be on the surface (although sometimes they definitely are).