I came to tell my boss about my mental problems, that caused me to cancel my pto at the last minute only to re put it in next day. It has been in for a week and everything was ready to go.
First texted about it wanting to talk. Ignored. Bring up in morning meeting " no I don’t have time we will talk later"
I linger in the office to talk to his boss or him whoever showed first. He finally calls me back because he sees me waiting outside his bosses office.
I opened by saying “sorry about that communication my brain was broke, this time of year is really hard for…” Was interrupted. Told “you’re an adult, don’t say that. I don’t care about your reasons. I haven’t read any emails you sent.” Are you taking it or not?"
I’ve never had such a toxic statement come from the person who is supposed to look out for their employees wellbeing. They at least act like they have your best interest at heart.
Also getting confirmation you don’t ever read anything I send.
I’ve dealt with toxicity before. But to directly be told I don’t give a fuck about you is a bit much for me.
Machismo should be eradicated from the earth. Although I am sure they would say the same about sensitive ass men like me.
Tldr: What’s an event that made you realize it was time to move in to another job?
Sorry to hear about your rough time. If I can share an insight, in the hopes you find it helpful; you have an overly high view of what managers are and do. Good ones try to do this, but the default is not this at all.
Your managers are there to make sure you get the job done in a manner consistent with their operating policies and proceedures. This can vary a lot depending on the job and industry, but it usually means, fast and cheap and profitable.
At no point does your well being enter into the equation. The very rare exceotion is for highly skilled ultra-rare empoyees in critical roles. They are too valuable to lose and get some consideration. Everyone else is disposable.
It’s cheaper and easier to fire somone you lose confidence in, than it is to deal with someone with chronic issues who can’t seperate their personal and professional life. Your messaging would be interpreted by most managers in this context. You’re sowing the seeds of doubt and it can’t help and can only hurt your standing in a company.
My advice, seek comfort and support outside of work. Don’t let your boss know anything worse than cold&flu. Never share chronic conditions unless absolutely necessary. It almost never help, but can and will be used against you in a court of employer opinion.
Source: Am manager, Have hired and fired many times, never because I wanted to. Always because the business demanded it.