Medium sedan. Same as the last one but a marginally bigger engine. $15k more.
3-7: Increasingly large SUVs. Maybe some are hybrids or EVs with laughable range. Despite occupying the volume of two sedans they have less passenger space.
8+: Road Dominators, Child Obliterators, and the all-new 2026 Canyonero. Get one gallon per mile fuel efficiency, and what they gain in tow capacity they lose in durability. But it’s fine, not a single car in this lineup will ever see a speck of dirt. Also, the truck beds are smaller than the rusted out Ford your great grandpa drove for fifty years on the racism farm.
For years I just wanted a second gen Nissan LEAF that didn’t suck and they couldn’t do it. Same price as any other new EV except it’s a fucking 62kwh LEAF, lol no. VW id3 never came to America but I had my eye on that wishing something like it would. Eventually I just gave up waiting, my only options are performance EVs that straddle the line between small SUV, large hatchback, and a full size sedan. Fun and practical but expensive as an MFer
They retired the line after driver complaints that they weren’t occupying enough lanes, but reintroduced them in 2026 in a new median-to-median configuration.
New car lineup be like:
Small sedan, practical for most.
Medium sedan. Same as the last one but a marginally bigger engine. $15k more.
3-7: Increasingly large SUVs. Maybe some are hybrids or EVs with laughable range. Despite occupying the volume of two sedans they have less passenger space.
8+: Road Dominators, Child Obliterators, and the all-new 2026 Canyonero. Get one gallon per mile fuel efficiency, and what they gain in tow capacity they lose in durability. But it’s fine, not a single car in this lineup will ever see a speck of dirt. Also, the truck beds are smaller than the rusted out Ford your great grandpa drove for fifty years on the racism farm.
I literally just want a fun and practical electric hatchback why is this so hard for car companies to understand
In North America at least, EVs are built to satisfy carbon credit rebates, not to be sold to consumers.
For years I just wanted a second gen Nissan LEAF that didn’t suck and they couldn’t do it. Same price as any other new EV except it’s a fucking 62kwh LEAF, lol no. VW id3 never came to America but I had my eye on that wishing something like it would. Eventually I just gave up waiting, my only options are performance EVs that straddle the line between small SUV, large hatchback, and a full size sedan. Fun and practical but expensive as an MFer
They still make Canyoneros? Everyone I know is driving Zaibatsu Monstrositys
They retired the line after driver complaints that they weren’t occupying enough lanes, but reintroduced them in 2026 in a new median-to-median configuration.
Do they even make small sedans anymore?
Yeah most brands will have one to two Econoline Shitmobiles with an optional hybrid upgrade at the highest trim.
Toyota Corolla