• FerretyFever0@fedia.io
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    2 days ago

    Another note is that they seem to all be autistic, with many of them exhibiting symptoms of severe depression. Most are also trans lesbians. Many seem to be cat/fox/puppygirls.

    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      Depressed autistic transbians commiserating about loneliness

      “Aw cute puppygirls!” head pats

      Depessed autistic cis guys commiserating about loneliness

      “Ew gross incels, yuck!” social stigma

      • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        The difference being that the puppygirls aren’t lashing out and demeaning others … they’re just bed rotting while watching yaoi

        • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Lots of lonely guys aren’t lashing out and demeaning others either, but people don’t notice them because they’re not lashing out and demeaning others. They still get labeled as incels though, and if they find that hurtful then people will absolutely shred them for it anyway.

          Also, they’ll be shamed for bed rotting, and shamed for watching yuri. No matter what they do, they’ll be shamed for it. So it’s honestly not surprising when a number of them end up lashing out.

          • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            2 days ago

            Are people calling those who don’t behave like assholes “incel” though?

            And do you think that women are not judged if they behave in the femcel manner?

            It seems like you’re applying a double standard, there.

            • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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              1 day ago

              Yes, people do call even the ones who aren’t being assholes “incels.” It’s a derogatory term that gets used against anyone who doesn’t get laid. Like calling someone a “virgin.” It’s shitty, and it promotes toxic masculinity. It also objectifies women by implying that men need to “get p***y” in order to be worthy of basic respect.

              And I’m tired of hearing this excuse that “it doesn’t refer to literal involuntary celibates, it refers to redpilled misogynistic jerks.” But that simply isn’t true, because people definitely apply it to literal “involuntary celibates” and use it as an insult like calling someone a “virgin.” It’s childish and immature. Also, there are lots of misogynistic jerks who get laid. Focusing all your ire on “incels” misses the point entirely, lets those people off the hook, and perpetuates the issue by communicating the subtext that “you can be a misogynistic jerk as long as you get laid, and then we’ll still respect you.” If you can’t see how that’s toxic and detrimental to society, then I can’t help you.

              And do you think that women are not judged if they behave in the femcel manner?

              They’re more likely to be fetishized, which is bad in a different way. But it certainly hasn’t risen to the level of a cultural pastime like shaming incels has.

              It seems like you’re applying a double standard, there.

              I’m not the one applying a double-standard. I’m pointing out the double-standard.

              I never said “femcels should be shamed, and incels shouldn’t be.”

              I said “femcels don’t get shamed the same way incels do.”

              If the former is how you interpret the latter, that’s on you. If I need to explicitly state what I meant, it’s closer to this:

              “Maybe nobody should be shamed for being lonely and having poor social skills, regardless of gender.”

              If the issue is misogyny, target the misogyny. Not the inability to get sex, because that is going to do nothing to address the misogyny.

                • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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                  1 day ago

                  I’ve had to put a lot of thought into this over the years, because usually anything I say about it gets deflected into a strawman and then I just get called a redpilled incel and suddenly people assume that I’m making demands on women’s bodies, when all I’m demanding is the same baseline level of respect that literally everyone else deserves.

                  So I have to navigate the argument very delicately, or else people assume I meant things that I didn’t say.

                  • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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                    17 hours ago

                    And then people call you an incel anyway, because it’s such an incel move to defend people who get called incels, and they didn’t read the “wall of text” (a couple of paragraphs) anyway.

              • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                1 day ago

                From that wall of text, I’m going to surmise that “incel” has been used as a pejorative towards you, with a reason that you’re blind to

                • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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                  24 hours ago

                  From that dismissive answer, I’m going to surmise that you leap to conclusions about people and throw around “incel” as an insult because it makes you feel powerful to punch down on people with poor social skills.

                  • SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                    24 hours ago

                    I’ve never used that word as a pejorative. In fact, my favourite regular was a man who found himself unable to socialise with women

            • DeadDigger@lemmy.zip
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              1 day ago

              Hmm yes they often are even when they are just complaining that they disdain the situation. I don’t know about women though I don’t know that many that are bed rotting

              • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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                1 day ago

                If they can look up Yaoi, bed rot, or even have the energy to complain about men, they are underemployed. I can’t even think about sex without realizing I could probably pull it off, but my job would get in the way of it, as with anything. The workplace is our god, everything, even family is secondary, because you can’t have family without work.

                • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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                  1 day ago

                  Anyone who has more free time than they spend sleeping is “underemployed” in your opinion?

                  You sound like a severely sick and twisted individual.

                  I feel sorry for your family, if you have one.

                  • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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                    1 day ago

                    My family would not be around if I didn’t work. They would not have survived. If you can do these things, you are clearly privileged, and could be doing better things with your time.

                    I will not be sorry, why should someone else make a hissy fit over “boo-hoo no one wants me”.

                    I literally can’t even muster the energy to think about that lesser shit, because I’m actually fighting for my life.

                    While these fuckers parasite around.

        • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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          1 day ago

          I mean, you don’t have to be attracted to anything you’re not attracted to. No one is saying “you have to like puppygirls!”

          The point isn’t to fetishize femcels. The point is that double-standards are a problem that maybe understandably lead to people feeling left behind by society.

          Maybe “incels” have a legitimate reason for feeling discontent after all, and it’s not “because women tell them no” like people claim. More like “because people ridicule them for being alone.”