• isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 hours ago

      I’m going to try this when on trial for shoplifting. “No. I didn’t steal it. You see, I never actually claimed ownership over the item I took. I would have given it back if they asked. I was just using it illegally!”

      • Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        Yes your honor, I accidentally stole offbrand Walmart Benadryl over a hundred times, but due to how ridiculously cheap it is, it has only cost Walmart $99, which they actually gain a profit from a specific loophole they use to fuck the insurance company when it’s a pharmacy-department loss, so technically I’m an unspoken Walmart contractor, and I demand benefits!