Yes, I have felt that way many times. For me personally, the worst ones were caused by other mental health issues.
When I started recovery from alcohol abuse about 15 years ago, I had already blown up my life as I knew it and sobering up meant that I had to deal with it and it was just so fucking tedious. I didn’t see the point in struggling to get better if what was waiting for me was a start from zero. I had to get a shitty job, start exercising again, and find a new career path before I stopped wanting to just drink myself to death.
Then a little over two years ago, an antidepressant (Effexor) that had worked wonders for me for years started doing me dirty. Insomnia , night sweats, crippling anxiety, tachycardia, the works. I cross tapered onto Paxil and I was better for about 2 months then it got bad again in the same way. That’s when shit got truly miserable, because coming off of Paxil is withdrawal hell. I had the same problems but even while I was in pain to the point of suicidal ideation, it was also boring. Like Groundhog Day in hell. I wish I had a remedy for that one, but it was just white knuckling the whole way. The one thing I can say is that if you go through anything like that, you either need a support structure of friends and family, or you need to get yourself into intensive outpatient or inpatient treatment.
I’m okayish now on a different medication regime with Cymbalta, but there are side effects. I’m actually stepping down on it starting today because I’ve been waking up in full panic attack every morning for the past 3 weeks. It sucks, but it’s life and it’s real.
For you, OP, my first suggestions are things you’re not going to want to do because you don’t want to do anything, but it’s super fucking important to get out of this. Exercise. Sleep. Watch your diet. I know others have already mentioned it, but these are the real lynchpins of mental health. So far as the anhedonia is concerned, the thing I keep coming back to is if you think an activity was important to your previous sense of self, you just have to start doing it again. Not jumping back in with two feet, but dipping your toe, consistently, and with regularity. You’d be surprised what does come back with a nudge.
IANAD but you might look into alternative treatments like TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) or Spravato (low dose ketamine). Some people have had success with magic mushrooms and LSD, but besides being illegal and supply purity concerns, people react differently and there’s a risk that it can make things worse.
Finally, you can ask your psychiatrist about GeneSight testing to find out what meds are likely to work for you. It’s not perfect, but it beats the medication merry-go-round that most new patients end up on until they find something that works.
Yes, I have felt that way many times. For me personally, the worst ones were caused by other mental health issues.
When I started recovery from alcohol abuse about 15 years ago, I had already blown up my life as I knew it and sobering up meant that I had to deal with it and it was just so fucking tedious. I didn’t see the point in struggling to get better if what was waiting for me was a start from zero. I had to get a shitty job, start exercising again, and find a new career path before I stopped wanting to just drink myself to death.
Then a little over two years ago, an antidepressant (Effexor) that had worked wonders for me for years started doing me dirty. Insomnia , night sweats, crippling anxiety, tachycardia, the works. I cross tapered onto Paxil and I was better for about 2 months then it got bad again in the same way. That’s when shit got truly miserable, because coming off of Paxil is withdrawal hell. I had the same problems but even while I was in pain to the point of suicidal ideation, it was also boring. Like Groundhog Day in hell. I wish I had a remedy for that one, but it was just white knuckling the whole way. The one thing I can say is that if you go through anything like that, you either need a support structure of friends and family, or you need to get yourself into intensive outpatient or inpatient treatment.
I’m okayish now on a different medication regime with Cymbalta, but there are side effects. I’m actually stepping down on it starting today because I’ve been waking up in full panic attack every morning for the past 3 weeks. It sucks, but it’s life and it’s real.
For you, OP, my first suggestions are things you’re not going to want to do because you don’t want to do anything, but it’s super fucking important to get out of this. Exercise. Sleep. Watch your diet. I know others have already mentioned it, but these are the real lynchpins of mental health. So far as the anhedonia is concerned, the thing I keep coming back to is if you think an activity was important to your previous sense of self, you just have to start doing it again. Not jumping back in with two feet, but dipping your toe, consistently, and with regularity. You’d be surprised what does come back with a nudge.
IANAD but you might look into alternative treatments like TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) or Spravato (low dose ketamine). Some people have had success with magic mushrooms and LSD, but besides being illegal and supply purity concerns, people react differently and there’s a risk that it can make things worse.
Finally, you can ask your psychiatrist about GeneSight testing to find out what meds are likely to work for you. It’s not perfect, but it beats the medication merry-go-round that most new patients end up on until they find something that works.