When this happens to me, it means there’s something problematic in my life, something else entirely, that’s overflowing into our relationship.

I’ve been able to successfully identify this pattern because it happened too frequently the last few years. I had been subject to anxiety with regard to my professional activity and our failure to conceive, among other (lesser) things.
These piled up, and then the smallest inconvenience/frustration was enough to get me over the edge.