Throughout my adult professional life, I’ve encountered people who have a (to me, at least) very curious way of interacting with other people. They look at individuals as ‘resources’ and relationships as ‘transactions’. Picture a spider’s web of contacts where ‘Bob’ is replaced with ‘has tools I can borrow’ and ‘Melissa’ is replaced with ‘can get me into my favorite club without a cover charge’.
I’m trying my best to articulate this. It’s like these people only create relationships based upon what material gains it can offer them. They aren’t really interested in the PEOPLE so much as the ADVANTAGE a relationship with them affords. Does that make sense?
Now to me, this is very bizarre. I just don’t think this way, but I’m told that it’s quite common - almost ‘the norm’. Is this true? If so, I’m really bewildered by it. What do y’all think?
I think it’s most common to call it a “transactional” personality – and the way of thinking is often called “transactionalism”, although that’s kind of unfortunate since that’s also the name of an approach within philosophical pragmatism. I’ve heard “instrumentalism” as well, which is also unfortunate in that it shares the name of a sort of pragmatist philosophical approach.
The latter term has been used some in discussions about kindergarten policy here in Norway, to criticize perspectives that only consider kindergartens, and childhood, to exist for the sake of adulthood or adult society.