• Team Fortress 2 - Team Fortress Classic was pretty based back in the day. I know I was looking forward to the Valve remake before it came out. But let’s be honest, Heavy’s accent is super racist, and who the fuck was Sniper shooting back in Australia. And no one from New York sounded like Scout since 1948.

• Red Dead Redemption - Can’t accept reality that we’re not riding ponies anymore. Probably a certain species of Amish.

• Warhammer - Has no qualms about ordering tens of thousands of people to their deaths. Probably thinks that it’s cool.

• Tomb Raider - Has extremely unrealistic beauty standards. He’ll judge you if you can’t free climb a sheer cliff or DIY a bow and arrow from stuff around the campfire.

• Civilization - Still hasn’t gotten over Great Man Theory.

• Project Zombiod - Not so secretly wants to kill everyone in the neighborhood.

• Fallout New Vegas - If a person is so willing to mod the fuck out of a game to make it playable, they’re going to try to change YOU at every turn.

• Hitman - He’s going to do an adventurism and the FBI will be knocking on your door before you know it.

• Hades - Paternal issues. Also boys that obsess over Greek myths are just neo Christians or weebs by another name.

• Vampire Survivors - Has the shortest attention span possible.

• Subnautica -thinks that the Titan was a good idea

• Plants vs Zombies - cares more about defending his backyard than he does about your feelings.

In summary, if your boyfriend has played any of these games for an hour, you should really break up with him.