Are friends just supposed to be like a TV? You talk to them when it’s convenient for you and you can’t think of something else to do?

I’ve just realized all the people I thought were my friends only talk to me on their schedule, when they feel like it. I’m left on read for days, meetings are ignored, text message conversations just end abruptly until they get back from vacation…

Is this it? Is this what friendship is? Because I don’t want it. I don’t want to feel like I have people to rely on only to find out that I’m just a convenience for people.

  • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    No, but be mindful there are many kinds of friends of varying degrees of closeness. A distant friend might fit your description. A close friend could be more attentive.

    Keep in mind that people are busy, have work, families, tragedies and dramas of their own. It isn’t always easy to be responsive to the level your suggesting.

    Also, Marshall McLuhan said “The medium is the message”. Your complaint…

    "I’m left on read for days, meetings are ignored, text message conversations just end abruptly until they get back from vacation…

    Those are asynchronous mediums. They are meant to get back to you when convenient. If you wanted immediacy, have a phone call, visit in person. The medium (asynchronous written messages) is the message (you don’t need to respond right away).

    It is not reasonable to expect someone on vacation to be tied to you electronically. They are on vacation! Leave them alone until they come back. Then have your convo and spend time with your friend.

    • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      23 hours ago

      I left a friend an audio on whatsapp and he said two days later and he wrote “oh, shit, ijust got this, I’ll listen soon.” Two days after that, he still hadn’t listened to it.

      Is that weird? I got not getting back to people right away, but if I send a friend a text I kind oF expect them to read it relatively soon and reply in a day or two.

      • PonyOfWar@pawb.social
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        23 hours ago

        In that particular case, I think the message format might have been an issue. I personally always find audio messages very inconvenient, as I’m not going to annoy everyone around me by listening to them in public. So I’d plan to listen to them later, but I might have forgotten about the message entirely by the time I got home. By the next time I remember the message, it could be an inconvenient timing again etc. A proper text message is almost always preferable.

        • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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          22 hours ago

          I have heard teens use them all the time and it just seems like such a terrible form of communication. I think I would rather an email.

        • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          21 hours ago

          Audios fill a space between texts & phone call because you can’t get a lot of information in and they can listen at their convenience; they can be abused though.

          I actually re-recorded this particular audio to be more concise. 2 minutes I think, listenable in 1 at 2x.

          Your scenario of why it wasn’t listened too makes sense, tho.

          • Zoot@reddthat.com
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            17 hours ago

            Are all your text messages voice recordings? That very well could be the problem there. If you’re texting, text them. If you need to convey a lot of information that you can’t or don’t want to text, call them.

            Atleast personally, ill never or only extremely begrudgingly listen to a voice recording, let alone call someone.

            • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.worksOP
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              17 hours ago

              Nah, text messages are text messages.

              I’ll audio my spanish friends more since they send me audios all the time, but my english friends are too busy for that.