There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental

Like on any other social network, no?

The issue I see around here is that there are very few of us (we’re not Twitter or Reddit or whatever) so the negativity is always more visible and more noticeable. Then, any user that leave is a real loss because there are already so few of us.

It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?

I would not have stayed on Lemmy/piefed had I not learned to filter out what I call its constant ‘noise’ (by blocking users, blocking keywords and by only showing content I’m subscribed to in my feed), removing all the hatred, all the high moral ground political/moral/judgmental non-sense, and also removing the constant flow of low effort posts, and mere trolls. It’s still not perfect but it’s so much better like that!

I’m a patient dude, I’ll see how Lemmy/Piefed (d)evolves in the long run. I wish it won’t crumble under its own political non-sense, it’s constant hatred of anything they disagree with, but if it does, so be it. I will know I’ll have given it a fair chance, and did my part, to show it was not just that.

It wasn’t a year or so ago, has been lately, exhausting to comment, but I’m also probably more annoying too because life in general sucks

For me, that was much more of an issue on reddit.

I think this is a cool place. There are a lot of empathetic caring people that are plugged into what’s going on in the world.

The downside of that is the world is a mess, to put it lightly, right now, so we’re all kind of commiserating, and it is pretty serious business at the moment.

I personally haven’t seen a ton of one-upping. I’m usually just happy to get a few up votes or a reply

Yes. Lemmy is extremely negative. You just get bombarded with how shit the world is constantly. It’s honestly a slog being here sometimes and it pushed many people away.

I gave Lemmy another go after being gone for 2 years but I’m honestly not really having a good time lol

That’s just the unfortunate state of politics right now. So any political discussion is going to be combative. Avoid politics and you’ll probably see less

It definitely is a pretty small and insular community.

I do think it feels insular/hostile, though my take is different than yours. Yes, I’ve had some folks nitpick posts and one up, though I imagine you get that in many similar social media sites – there’re reasons for the running joke that in order to get a correct answer online, you gotta post a question as a woman, and confidently answer it wrong on a male account, and then people will pile on with correct answers and judgey-ments.

Many of the sites that seem to get posted to lemmy are on VERY fringey locations, locations that often seem highly likely to be hosting malicious content. There’s also far fewer people posting topics, with a very small group of users having like 10k+ posts per year. So it feels a lot more ‘concentrated’, especially on particular subjects, due to those posters’ bias’: if you’re an aggressive poster, it’s fairly easy to astroturf lemmy. Which feels insular / bubbly.

Adding to that, Lemmy has mods who are just as heavy-handed as on Reddit or any other heavily moderated setup – though lemmy’ll moderate things in a far more ‘progressive’ friendly way than most alternatives these days. Pejoratives are allowed for some groups, but not others. Even calling that sort of thing out in more explicit terms, though still in a neutral tone, can get you banned from many communities on Lemmy.

It feels much more nicer than other social medias

I had to block a lot of politics. It’s not that I even disagree with what they’re saying most of the time, but it’s fifty extremely negative communities saying the same things over and over. It’s too much.

No one yells at me to read the friendly manual like the arch forums. The only yelling I see is political stuff. I don’t see the console flame wars. Comments don’t look like youtube of the 2010s and before. Its not 4chan. It doesn’t have much of the smuggery of hacker news. I can block the chapo trap house people. Fediverse and activitypub actually works and we have some admins who seem to care about informing others of bad actors either as individuals to entire instances.

Lemmy seems good to me!

Little bit, not gonna lie. And I’m not innocent here either certainly.

I disagree. This site is not hostile or insular at all. Also, it’s not Lemmy, it’s The Lemmy Club.

(/s please have a pleasant day)

I find it much more cynical than other places, probably just the nature of how everyone ended up here, jaded by the design of centralized social media.

I have to remind myself that everything isnt as ‘sky is falling’ as I see around these parts. Maybe I’m just blessed with a nice life, and I try not to take that for granted, but it does give me that feeling unfortunately.

I try my best to insert some humour into the headlines as some sort of way to make some light of it all, but that might just be playing into the fear and anger that I see around.

No, I don’t get that. Maybe you are just hanging out in serious communities?

I see plenty of silly stuff.

basically it’s what i’ve been looking for. a place to horny-post but also discuss serious issues with actual understanding of reality. i’m thoroughly sick of the vibes-posting that dominates r*ddit and every other mainstream platform. i’m sick of the ads, of being distracted from important issues with video games, the newest gossip, etc.

i really just want a meaningful place in the universe. if that seems “stiff” to other people, well then i guess i gotta care less about what other people think of me. i gotta be used to it by now anyways, considering i’ve been very autistic my entire life.