• Schwim Dandy@piefed.zip
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    14 hours ago

    Not unless we are all dying in childhood.

    orphan

    noun

    or·​phan [ˈȯr-fən]

    1 child deprived by death of one or usually both parents

        • JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social
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          13 hours ago

          And yet that’s just coming from someone with a different valuation upon such, and doesn’t mean OP is off-base, whatsoever.

          But I just commented on my own situation here, if you care to examine my own example.

          • FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website
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            11 hours ago

            Language is imprecise. That’s where the ambiguity needs tolerance. A child can be a grown person and a person growing up, depending on context. There is no orphanage for people in their 40s. The original argument seems to hinge on the word child being basically equal in meaning to human being in all contexts. Which isn’t the case all the time. And it isn’t in the context of orphans.

            • JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social
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              11 hours ago

              Language is imprecise.
              Language is eternally EVOLVING, mate, ever and always.

              “And it isn’t in the context of orphans.”
              Like I said, that’s just your personal Howdy-Do, so good for you there, mate.

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    When my maternal grandmother died, my mom told me that no matter how old you are, when your parents die you feel like an orphan.

    Now, of course, it’s going to be different if you’re young and still dependent on them. However, my father died in May, and I understand what my mother said. I’m 56 years old, but still I feel untethered. I keep thinking of things to tell my dad. Worse, I have questions I’d like to ask him.

  • JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social
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    13 hours ago

    I was ‘orphaned’ 15yrs ago when my dad passed. My mom had already passed 3yrs earlier.

    Now, I do tend to agree that “orphaned” is a fair application of the word when there are major unresolved needs or un-learned skills (etc) in the child that only the parent can teach. And hey, I was definitely in that category due to a hellishly difficult-to-identify disease I’d suffered since childhood. But that’s just me, and it could be almost anything going on with other people.

    The basic idea being that you still needed something from your parents, but weren’t able to get it because of their passing, I guess.

    I think maybe the biggest thing I long for and regret to this day is not being able to have enough adult-to-adult conversations with my folks. One in which I could come to the table having a basic core set of life experiences and accomplishments that my parents shared, and go from there. It would have been fascinating, I think.

    Unfortunately too much of the time our interactions leaned too much towards my own ailment and the problems and awkwardness it kept bringing. Seriously, that kind of thing can be a real confidence-killer over time, tell you hwat. Like the child constantly being put in the unwilling position of being an embarrassing burden, even in to adulthood, nominally.

    Oof, not sure I explained very well, but there it is.
    @schwim@piefed.zip

    • Schwim Dandy@piefed.zip
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      9 hours ago

      Oof, not sure I explained very well, but there it is.

      I think you did a fantastic job, thanks very much for your insight.