I drink quite a lot of caffeine (four or five strong coffees most days) and i’ve not had any problems, or noticed much of a difference on terms of ‘over caffinated’ symptoms compared to pre-Methylphenidate.

In fact, the one time I tried to cut back on coffee (I’d been really ill for a week and had stopped drinking coffee, so I decided to not restart the habit) I found that without coffee my medication didn’t seem as effective. After two weeks of no caffeine I wasnt feeling caffeine withdrawals, I wasn’t tired in the morning or craving coffee, but I just felt like i was on too low a dose for my ADHD. My attention, focus, willpower were all back to being a struggle. Then I read somewhere online saying that this could happen, and that caffeine increased the effects of the meds. For some people, I guess that means that too much coffee would lead to an overly strong dose. But for me, I’d much rather have a couple of cups of coffee than have to move to a higher dose of Ritalin. So I started having coffee again and things went back to normal.

Yeah, given that that account got deleted not long after that (if it’s the one I’m thinking of) then it quite probably was a bot…

Thanks! That’s pretty much what I do. As I said in my reply to shneancy, it’s made a lot harder by my neurodivergent partner having serious communication issues around the topic. So it isn’t even to get feedback, but they’re the one who love aggressive sex.

I have experimented with some stuff on myself to get a gauge of how hard is too hard. But tbh, I don’t really enjoy getting slapped in face or choked so, it’s hard to guess what’s the correct level for someone else!

I’m familiar with that in principle, and it’s a great system. But my partner is shockingly bad at communicating during sex (they’re on the spectrum). I’ve tried to talk about safe words, or even just any indication that something is not working for them. But they refuse, partly saying “that it’s pretty obvious when I am enjoying something or not” (it is not, or at least not to me). But I suspect the real reason is that they have quite poor body awareness in general (often injure themselves with exercise because they weren’t aware that something was hurting them) and that trying to monitor their own safety is tiring and unfun. But they’re also not super expressive during sex, so I can’t reliably pick up on cues.

We’ve been together a long time, and I think we’ve found things that work for us, but it’s pretty stressful trying to ‘play rough’ without a real feedback mechanism (and I have gotten it wrong and gone ‘too far’ and they’ve been very upset with me). I’ve tried talking about it, and even had a period of refusing to do anything like that at all hoping it would force them to agree to some sort of save-word system. But it didn’t, they just seemed decreasingly satisfied with sex, so I gave in and went back to guessing what’s okay…

Good call! It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, partly because of comments from other ADHD people. We do some bdsm adjacent (I don’t really know where the line is…) stuff cause be partner likes to be treated rough. I guess it helps keep me focussed, cause there’s more variety and stuff to do, but it also leads to a lot of meta thinking and second guessing “was that too much? Was that too soft? How long have they been in that position and is that going to actually harm their neck…”

Maybe being in a sub role would be kinda relaxing because of the lack of control / responsibility, but I prefer the Dom/top role, and my partner is 100% the other way. I do think it’s easier when there’s more novelty in general, just being somewhere different or my partner wearing some new outfit I find hot helps. But making stuff different everyday would soon get exhausting, while changing my imagination is quick and easy.

I have to actively keep myself focussed on sex by fantasizing some scene or story to myself. Just actually having sex isn’t enough, not because I’m not into it or not enjoying it. It’s just that if I don’t fill my mind with something sexy it’s going to get full with chores, or dinner options, or the way the bed squeaks… And then I’m completely out the moment.

Looking at this data Norway seems to have low levels of economic inequality, low rates of poverty, and a high median disposable income (behind Luxembourg but around that of France and Austria).

Its far from perfect, but I imagine social inequality for stuff like gender and race is pretty low, officially speaking at least. I get the feeling that Scandinavians can be a big negative about foreigners, but I have zero firsthand knowledge on that.

Wow, that site is unhinged. Also, that article feels like it’s been heavily rewritten by AI, if not pure ai slop. Normally I enjoy crazy paranoid rants about demonic symbolism on cereal boxes, or whatever, but that article was shallow and vacuous.

There’s lots of architectural guidance, building codes, etc. normally linked to number of people in the household. But it’s all pretty damn relative, both culturally and individually.

When I lived in the city, I was pretty comfortable with a small appartment, because I spent a lot of time out of my home in cultural spaces. Now I live in the country, and in city-terms our house is gigantic for just the two of us. Netherthless, we’re continuing to convert old out buildings into more space because the demands on our home are much higher and we have lots of unused space.

Not only do we live there, but we’ve got jobs that involve a lot of remote working, and it’s also a building site/workshop as we renovate and make our own fixtures and furniture. Plus, because it’s more remote, we want guest bedrooms and extra space so that guests can come and stay for a while without feeling cramped. Then we’ve got animals, who bring their own clutter, and we also want to create a guesthouse that we can rent to tourists. Even without those extra requirements, we choose to sleep in adjacent, but seperate, bedrooms because we have sleep issues. And I know that is a crazy luxury that we wouldn’t have been able to afford in the city, but when space is cheap, there’s no real reason not to.

I know that my example is pretty extreme, but everyone’s needs are different. I have friends who basically live in one room and love that, because everything is within easy reach and they don’t want to have guests. But I know it would be depressing and claustrophobic for others. Sharing an apartment with four adult strangers is a different experience from a family home with four children.

I think there can be rules (you can’t claim something is a bedroom if it’s smaller than 6sqm) but there isn’t a one size fits all solution.

And the single video that isn’t a “Sponsored” ad is still from Red Bull, and basically an ad.

Various freelance / project based work would probably come close. I know that jobs with short deadlines and big changes of focus have been manageable, while I’ve never lasted long with regular week after week of ongoing or repetitive tasks. Stuff like theatre / arts projects, or even some types of construction involves working really hard for a couple of weeks until something is achieved, and then doing something different.

My current job teaching at a university almost hits the sweet spot, because I only ever work six weeks before some sort of holiday, and there’s big vacations in between semesters. But coordiating the same class over a 12 week semester, even with a half term week off in the middle, is a big challenge to my willpower. About halfway through I start to check out and everything starts to fall apart.

Those are really intresting studies. It’s quite something to think about my cycle of getting bored and starting a new hobby or trying something different as an essential life skill of a nomadic forager. Not like those slow, obsessive types, who lag behind trying to pick a bush to the bone before moving on.

In the nomadic tribe, those with the mutation had better social standing and nourishment. In the sedentary tribe, those with the same mutation were malnourished, distracted, and regarded as unreliable by their peers.

This is pretty depressing, and believable.

It’s hard! And tbh, when I do manage to stick at a hobby for a longer time it often starts to horrify me. Like, why I have I spent so long doing this thing that doesn’t matter?

But tips that help me:

Keeping stimulated about it, watching YouTube about it, reading about it. It’s easy to do when I’m excited about it, and that way I’m constantly being bombarded with reminders that I care.

Having friends or people to join in with. If I have to go to something or finish something, having another person to keep me on track and from just moving on to something else is great

Setting manageable goals - I often go back and forth from “I want this to be my whole life” and “why am I’m wasting my life on this”. Aiming for a specific goal means there’s a point that I can choose to stop or set a further goal, rather than just a vague endless pressure to do the hobby.

But it really depends on what it is, specific advice for crafting, sport, games or whatever will be different. What do you want to do? And what about it excites you?

This is a really good answer. Even terrible parents generally ‘love’ their children. Some believe that means giving everything they want and never saying “no”, others believe that by bullying their kids they’re “making them strong”. And some genuinely love their kids, but less than they love their career or football.

Fortunately most parents really do want to do right by the kids, and have a more sane idea of what love means. But they might not always express that love in the way the child needs or understands, for a variety of reasons.

I think your absolutely right that people shouldn’t call a question stupid in c/nostupidquestions. But they can and should criticise a question for being a rant disguised as a question (eg. “Why are X people so stupid?”). More borderline is a questions that maybe meant in good faith but seems to have so many problematic assumptions built-in, that it’s difficult to even engage with fairly. It might not be a stupid question, but it’s been phrased in a way that makes so many wrong assumptions, that answering it becomes an unnecessarily difficult chore.

I saw your question about veganism, and I can imagine some people took it as way of poking vegans. Vegans get a lot of hassle online, and are often asked to justify this or that, so asking “why don’t they eat roadkill” (in so many words) could be seen as not coming from a genuine place of curiosity. I’m not saying your question wasn’t genuine, but I can imagine that other people thought so.

I do think your question falls into the “too many dumb assumptions”. There were responses along the lines of “vegans don’t eat meat, so of course they don’t eat meat that has died naturally”. And you responded with “I meant the philosophy not the diet”. If that’s true, then it was a “badly phrased” question, not a “stupid” one.

Nostupidquestions is meant to be a place to ask questions that you feel like you should know, or everyone else seems to know. If you ask confusing or misleading questions, it’s reasonable for people to respond with “that’s not what veganism means” or whatever. But I do 100% think people shouldn’t say it’s a stupid question (although, having read through the thread I don’t see anyone saying that to you…)

If I saw someone wearing a helmet, with cap strapped on somewhere, I’d understand. It’s practical, and it’s pretty clear that your planning to wear it when you remove the helmet, you’re not trying to make some sort of statement. Go for it! (as long as your cap strap is reliable…)

I just spent my lunch break searching through the mod log after I saw that your post had been removed. It’s super irritating that, even though I’d commented in the original post, all I could see was it’s title and that it had been deleted. I couldn’t see how to see the username, or to sort the mod log by community, instead of by user or mod action.

Anyway, I’m pissed on your behalf. Sure, the tone could have been more conciliatory, but you were posting about something that was irritating, but fundemtnally not a big deal. So, more on topic than the politics posts. And I don’t think listing the mods and their activity is harressment, you weren’t saying much except you didn’t think the mod team was very active and had the receipts to prove it.

I see there’s another post today naming and shaming a user who posted in a women’s only community, “quoting” a female coworker. I agree the poster is mildlyinfuriating, but I still think we’d be better blurring out individual user names, otherwise you’re inviting harassment. (just like the thorn guy, who does irritate me, but is perfectly entitled to carry on doing so without people abusing him).

Unless im sleep deprived or intoxicated, pretty instantly. But although I sleep pretty well, I generally wake up regularly through the night to turn over, flip my pillow etc. So, waking isn’t usually a shock. Maybe if I got woken by an alarm I’d be confused, but generally I wake up a few minutes before my alarm.

Was there a specific event that coincided with the blackout? I don’t know the details of current US events, just that they’re crazy and depressing.

I don’t think I’d feel like I lost a part of me if I my account got banned. But I could imagine feeling pretty angry if it was unfair, and frustration at losing access to save post or conversations with that I still reference.

But I do think an account is a ‘face’, just like in real life. I talk differently at work than with my friend, I speak differently to my boss and my students, and even different friend groups have different ways of talking or humour they enjoy. In that sense my lemmy account talks about some stuff I wouldn’t bring up with certain people, and there’s some stuff I wouldnt post on here.