I have to actively keep myself focussed on sex by fantasizing some scene or story to myself. Just actually having sex isn’t enough, not because I’m not into it or not enjoying it. It’s just that if I don’t fill my mind with something sexy it’s going to get full with chores, or dinner options, or the way the bed squeaks… And then I’m completely out the moment.

Looking at this data Norway seems to have low levels of economic inequality, low rates of poverty, and a high median disposable income (behind Luxembourg but around that of France and Austria).

Its far from perfect, but I imagine social inequality for stuff like gender and race is pretty low, officially speaking at least. I get the feeling that Scandinavians can be a big negative about foreigners, but I have zero firsthand knowledge on that.

Wow, that site is unhinged. Also, that article feels like it’s been heavily rewritten by AI, if not pure ai slop. Normally I enjoy crazy paranoid rants about demonic symbolism on cereal boxes, or whatever, but that article was shallow and vacuous.

There’s lots of architectural guidance, building codes, etc. normally linked to number of people in the household. But it’s all pretty damn relative, both culturally and individually.

When I lived in the city, I was pretty comfortable with a small appartment, because I spent a lot of time out of my home in cultural spaces. Now I live in the country, and in city-terms our house is gigantic for just the two of us. Netherthless, we’re continuing to convert old out buildings into more space because the demands on our home are much higher and we have lots of unused space.

Not only do we live there, but we’ve got jobs that involve a lot of remote working, and it’s also a building site/workshop as we renovate and make our own fixtures and furniture. Plus, because it’s more remote, we want guest bedrooms and extra space so that guests can come and stay for a while without feeling cramped. Then we’ve got animals, who bring their own clutter, and we also want to create a guesthouse that we can rent to tourists. Even without those extra requirements, we choose to sleep in adjacent, but seperate, bedrooms because we have sleep issues. And I know that is a crazy luxury that we wouldn’t have been able to afford in the city, but when space is cheap, there’s no real reason not to.

I know that my example is pretty extreme, but everyone’s needs are different. I have friends who basically live in one room and love that, because everything is within easy reach and they don’t want to have guests. But I know it would be depressing and claustrophobic for others. Sharing an apartment with four adult strangers is a different experience from a family home with four children.

I think there can be rules (you can’t claim something is a bedroom if it’s smaller than 6sqm) but there isn’t a one size fits all solution.

And the single video that isn’t a “Sponsored” ad is still from Red Bull, and basically an ad.

Various freelance / project based work would probably come close. I know that jobs with short deadlines and big changes of focus have been manageable, while I’ve never lasted long with regular week after week of ongoing or repetitive tasks. Stuff like theatre / arts projects, or even some types of construction involves working really hard for a couple of weeks until something is achieved, and then doing something different.

My current job teaching at a university almost hits the sweet spot, because I only ever work six weeks before some sort of holiday, and there’s big vacations in between semesters. But coordiating the same class over a 12 week semester, even with a half term week off in the middle, is a big challenge to my willpower. About halfway through I start to check out and everything starts to fall apart.

Those are really intresting studies. It’s quite something to think about my cycle of getting bored and starting a new hobby or trying something different as an essential life skill of a nomadic forager. Not like those slow, obsessive types, who lag behind trying to pick a bush to the bone before moving on.

In the nomadic tribe, those with the mutation had better social standing and nourishment. In the sedentary tribe, those with the same mutation were malnourished, distracted, and regarded as unreliable by their peers.

This is pretty depressing, and believable.

It’s hard! And tbh, when I do manage to stick at a hobby for a longer time it often starts to horrify me. Like, why I have I spent so long doing this thing that doesn’t matter?

But tips that help me:

Keeping stimulated about it, watching YouTube about it, reading about it. It’s easy to do when I’m excited about it, and that way I’m constantly being bombarded with reminders that I care.

Having friends or people to join in with. If I have to go to something or finish something, having another person to keep me on track and from just moving on to something else is great

Setting manageable goals - I often go back and forth from “I want this to be my whole life” and “why am I’m wasting my life on this”. Aiming for a specific goal means there’s a point that I can choose to stop or set a further goal, rather than just a vague endless pressure to do the hobby.

But it really depends on what it is, specific advice for crafting, sport, games or whatever will be different. What do you want to do? And what about it excites you?

This is a really good answer. Even terrible parents generally ‘love’ their children. Some believe that means giving everything they want and never saying “no”, others believe that by bullying their kids they’re “making them strong”. And some genuinely love their kids, but less than they love their career or football.

Fortunately most parents really do want to do right by the kids, and have a more sane idea of what love means. But they might not always express that love in the way the child needs or understands, for a variety of reasons.

I think your absolutely right that people shouldn’t call a question stupid in c/nostupidquestions. But they can and should criticise a question for being a rant disguised as a question (eg. “Why are X people so stupid?”). More borderline is a questions that maybe meant in good faith but seems to have so many problematic assumptions built-in, that it’s difficult to even engage with fairly. It might not be a stupid question, but it’s been phrased in a way that makes so many wrong assumptions, that answering it becomes an unnecessarily difficult chore.

I saw your question about veganism, and I can imagine some people took it as way of poking vegans. Vegans get a lot of hassle online, and are often asked to justify this or that, so asking “why don’t they eat roadkill” (in so many words) could be seen as not coming from a genuine place of curiosity. I’m not saying your question wasn’t genuine, but I can imagine that other people thought so.

I do think your question falls into the “too many dumb assumptions”. There were responses along the lines of “vegans don’t eat meat, so of course they don’t eat meat that has died naturally”. And you responded with “I meant the philosophy not the diet”. If that’s true, then it was a “badly phrased” question, not a “stupid” one.

Nostupidquestions is meant to be a place to ask questions that you feel like you should know, or everyone else seems to know. If you ask confusing or misleading questions, it’s reasonable for people to respond with “that’s not what veganism means” or whatever. But I do 100% think people shouldn’t say it’s a stupid question (although, having read through the thread I don’t see anyone saying that to you…)

If I saw someone wearing a helmet, with cap strapped on somewhere, I’d understand. It’s practical, and it’s pretty clear that your planning to wear it when you remove the helmet, you’re not trying to make some sort of statement. Go for it! (as long as your cap strap is reliable…)

I just spent my lunch break searching through the mod log after I saw that your post had been removed. It’s super irritating that, even though I’d commented in the original post, all I could see was it’s title and that it had been deleted. I couldn’t see how to see the username, or to sort the mod log by community, instead of by user or mod action.

Anyway, I’m pissed on your behalf. Sure, the tone could have been more conciliatory, but you were posting about something that was irritating, but fundemtnally not a big deal. So, more on topic than the politics posts. And I don’t think listing the mods and their activity is harressment, you weren’t saying much except you didn’t think the mod team was very active and had the receipts to prove it.

I see there’s another post today naming and shaming a user who posted in a women’s only community, “quoting” a female coworker. I agree the poster is mildlyinfuriating, but I still think we’d be better blurring out individual user names, otherwise you’re inviting harassment. (just like the thorn guy, who does irritate me, but is perfectly entitled to carry on doing so without people abusing him).

Unless im sleep deprived or intoxicated, pretty instantly. But although I sleep pretty well, I generally wake up regularly through the night to turn over, flip my pillow etc. So, waking isn’t usually a shock. Maybe if I got woken by an alarm I’d be confused, but generally I wake up a few minutes before my alarm.

Was there a specific event that coincided with the blackout? I don’t know the details of current US events, just that they’re crazy and depressing.

I don’t think I’d feel like I lost a part of me if I my account got banned. But I could imagine feeling pretty angry if it was unfair, and frustration at losing access to save post or conversations with that I still reference.

But I do think an account is a ‘face’, just like in real life. I talk differently at work than with my friend, I speak differently to my boss and my students, and even different friend groups have different ways of talking or humour they enjoy. In that sense my lemmy account talks about some stuff I wouldn’t bring up with certain people, and there’s some stuff I wouldnt post on here.

If you’re trying to blame “stupid consumers” or “evil companies” you’re not thinking about things systemically. Of course, under our current economic system, companies are going to end up exploiting, because there’s lots of pressure to maximise profits, and minimal pressure to avoid decisions that make money but harm society. And consumers are going to make bad decisions, because they live in a society where they are constantly bombarded by advertising and social values that encourage spending and don’t punish buying unnecessary shit.

The naïve (or self-serving) status quo view is “but consumers should know what they can afford, and not waste money. And customers should take their business elsewhere if a company does bad things”. If that’s really what you want to happen, then create a system that incentivizes that - have strict rules on credit and loans, so that people can’t buy takeaway food on credit, enforce strict anti-monopoly measures so that there lots of genuine alternatives for consumers to turn to, have requirements for news media to inform the public about all the actions that companies take that are harmful to the environment, their workers, or the general population (and make clear who are their competitors, and only those alternatives that aren’t owned by the same conglomerate), and so on…

If someone promotes a system that relies on “personal responsibility” but doesn’t promote tools that facilitiate that responsibility, then they are being disingenuous.

AI bot, check the post history

My experience in the UK was the gruyère was a bit bland as a cheese. But since moving to France that’s changed completely. Gruyère can be of widly different qualities and aged for different times for very different end flavours. The opposite is true of cheddar, which in Britain is a big spectrum of flavours and textures, but often in France is a pretty bland ‘burger cheese slice’ affair.

I’m not sure if they’re what you’re looking for, but their are various little mental exercises you can do depending on what your trying to achieve.

Relaxing visualisations - if I’m trying to sleep and I’m too worked up about something to relax, I close my eyes and visualise a peaceful scene, e.g. being on a warm tropical beach, the heat of the sun lulling me to sleep, the gentle lapping of the ocean… It doesn’t always put me immediately to sleep, but it helps get my brain out of the problem-solving stress mode.

Sensory engagement - if I’m feeling anxious and getting stuck in a panicky loop, I try to engage my senses. Notice four things around you that you can see, three you can hear, two that you can smell, and a texture you can touch (a stone wall, your jacket’s fabric). This works well because when I’m stressed my brain doesn’t want to be told to “calm down”, it’s trying to warn me of danger. So instead of forcing some relaxation, I engage my senses, checking my surroundings, and generally there is no danger, just the hubub of normal life. This reminds my lizard brain that although being worried about missing a deadline is stressful, I’m not in immediate physical danger and should calm tf down.

Sense of perspective - when we are in an emergency our sense of time shrinks so we only focus on the immediate problem. As we relax, we become better able to consider the larger future. This is great in a crisis, but also leads to dumb overreactions. So, if something goes wrong, and in the grand scheme of things it’s actually not a big deal, but to me right now it feels like the worst, I use this technique. I visualise my surroundings and then begin zooming out, viewing my self from above, seing the room and then the building, the pulling out like a map tool, seeing the area, the country, the globe. I sometimes continue, visualising the solar system and the milky way. After that, it feels a lot easier to shrug and accept that whatever embaressment or frustration felt like it was going to ruin my day is, in fact, just not that important.

Was hearing something from an English literature professor recently. He was arguing that we were on track to have a new cultural renaissance, because historically cultural transformations have come when the ‘guardians of culture’ (the tastesetters, the academy, etc) spend all their time in ever increasing arcane and self-referential debates. Then groups from outside of the cultural institutional power start doing something very new and vibrant and it ends up transforming cultural expression.

I guess the downside is that even ‘soon’ in this context could be 50 years, and it’s quite likely you won’t recognise or like what the new art when it emerges. Renaissance art is beautiful, but at the time it was seen as base and anti-intellectual, taking the abstract symbolism of medieval art and replacing it with “this statue of a guy looks reeeealllly like a irl guy doesn’t it!” Uhh, well done Michaelangelo, I can see a naked guy whenever I go to the baths, what does your ‘art’ say about his place is the cosmic order, his eternal destiny and the state of his soul?