The only correct response is “uh yeah! I’m honestly a little disappointed you’re not a sponge. Would you be open to dressing like a sponge sometimes?”

In Norway your deposit is payed into a special account in your name and both parties have to agree to it’s release or settle in court. If the landlord takes some for repairs to abnormal damage (can’t charge for “normal wear and tear”) they have to provide proof that they used it for that (receipts etc).

Seagulls?!? That’s just how they are, fam.