My uncle is really critical of his kids athletic abilities (as well as his own), and they are now really negative about their own abilities, and my uncle doesn’t understand why they don’t want to try. I golfed with my cousin today (my uncle in the group behind) and I made it a point to compliment him and have a good time, and he golfed better than normal—not necessarily as good as his inner critic wanted—and had more fun golfing with family than normal. Positive reinforcement always seems more effective to me in helping people grow to meet their hopes and expectations, there are other times to have grounding conversations about whether their hopes and expectations are realistic or attainable, but not when they’re eager and trying.
My uncle is really critical of his kids athletic abilities (as well as his own), and they are now really negative about their own abilities, and my uncle doesn’t understand why they don’t want to try. I golfed with my cousin today (my uncle in the group behind) and I made it a point to compliment him and have a good time, and he golfed better than normal—not necessarily as good as his inner critic wanted—and had more fun golfing with family than normal. Positive reinforcement always seems more effective to me in helping people grow to meet their hopes and expectations, there are other times to have grounding conversations about whether their hopes and expectations are realistic or attainable, but not when they’re eager and trying.