“Sorry, you’re too lonely to take. I’ll getcha the moment you find a modicum of happiness with another human being, I promise. I got you boo!”

… again

Perhaps paradoxically, this might have turned out to be an advantage rather than a drawback

Snitching has a convenient shorthand (snitches get stitches), to my knowledge there isn’t one for genocide. Maybe the just don’t know!!

Not to mention they started as a car lovers brand and are now just corporate for “I’m important”

I love that you didn’t give up the complex creations. Unlike the other commenter I have no idea what a hurdy gurdy is, but I can appreciate the value of overmaking stuff. Glad to hear that you didn’t let the capitalisation of steampunk kill your passion 😊

Agreed. I don’t always need the author to explain the origin story of characters. Let me guess a little.

Shoot I don’t remember this arc, don’t suppose you can share a quick synopsis/analysis on your comment?

For good reason. Phenomenal series, it’s what hooked me into reading in the first place

Spinach needs love too! 🤔 Absolutely. It’s shocking how much clarity you get on human behaviour when you assume much of it is based on unconscious/animalistic tendencies haha. And yes, #2 is a good shorthand for this - I take a lot of heart from knowing we’re like other advanced life, makes complex existence a little less… existentially isolating, I think?

Fear may be better said as “the unfamiliar”, but unfortunately I’m confident in this point haha. Did a psych degree, and basically our reptilian brain (fight/flight/flee centre) makes those snap decisions based on previous experience (familiar: friend or unfamiliar: foe/unknown). We can relatively easily override it (e.g. curiosity about the newest swiffer), but if we don’t know to do that, our brains default to “oh I’ve heard of that one before, is friend”

Also stressed ppl are better consumers. Less critical thought, more impulsive behaviour to alleviate anxiety

Psychological safety in play ^^ humans are animals, we trust what we know, fear what we don’t. All of marketing is geared to that simple fact

It’s been a minute since I read the books, but I think I remember having a similar theory. Maybe it was a missed opportunity by RJ, cuz I remember continuously wondering when the grand reveal would happen that it’s actually all Mat (and canonically, I can’t think of a reason that wouldn’t be as valid as other men’s memories, I don’t think the story arc ever kills that possibility lol).

Maybe you could help a new generation learn the value of intentional steampunk :) bring some of the passion back to the hobby, as it sounds like many just accept it as presented. Share it as a “when I got into this, we made this shit” and how you did it. I might be wrong, but I’m weirdly confident you’ll eventually find a cross section of steampunks that would be interested in the creative element

That’s… depressing

I’ll add to your last point, significant time in nature (hikes, sitting in a park, hell staring out a window at greenspace). I find many city folks don’t know how therapeutic this can be

Agreed, at best this is confirmation bias at play

Absolutely! 😊

I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner, I just wanted to give this the time it deserved :)

I agree the man-up mentality needs to die, or at least be dialed back. It’s not inherently bad, tough love is a thing, but our society has taken manning up to an untenable extreme. For the record, I think the meme did an excellent job of putting a truthful light on the current reality - it definitely got us talking!

I agree about DEI, and love your comment about equality. Ppl often forget that equality means for everyone, and I think men are villainized as a general punching bag (punching up?). In this respect, I think men maybe pay a price that is overlooked for the more tangible equity issues (e.g. pay and service access for minorities)? But I’m cautious to bang that drum too hard haha just thinking it through.

I see what you’re digging at about therapy, and it’s possibly a perception issue on my end. It’s hard to tell someone they need therapy at any time, and my sensitivities may just be coming into play there. Therapy can be incredibly helpful.

Women absolutely get saddled with unfair emotional labour. I think it’s a bit of a downstream effect of unhealthy male emotions, in that men are taught to clam up and hide from feelings for decades, then get into relationships with women who just want the best for their partners. Men finally have a safe place for the first time in their lives, and BOOM all of it comes out with no skill at managing it haha. I’m not excusing this behavior, it can lead to some bad outcomes. I think there’s a balance - ppl in relationships need to do their fair share or emotional labour (relationships aren’t always 50/50, sometimes they’re 90/10), and men haven’t been taught to do their half. But at some point, they also need to take accountability and learn to do their half, dang it (see tough love lol).

All in all, I agree this is a stupidly complex topic, and I agree we proooobably won’t fix mens’ relationships with the world and themselves in this conversation, but we can try! That said, I’d be very happy if we could find a way to meme our way to a better place for everyone :) thank you for digging into it with me!

Haha sorry in advance for a long response, I love psychology and am a strong male mental health advocate :) TL;DR: I don’t have the answers, its getting better societally but that doesn’t solve it at an individual level, I believe loneliness and being heard are major contributing factors.

I’m hard pressed to give you a good answer on that. I think it’s more socially acceptable for men to have feelings, but maybe it’s hard for the crop of men 30+ to understand that due to their upbringing, and seek help (it’s getting much better for Gen Z, I understand). So maybe the options are there, but the “man up” mindset persists?

There may also be an individual element to it - the willingness to learn about our own feelings after decades of “man up” can be perplexing at best (I’ve been blessed with some wonderful women in my life and it is still in my blindspot all the time). I understand there are also many women that expect their men to “man up”, not to say that’s the norm though.

I don’t have a good answer for you on the last point either. I think go to therapy is great, but i find that being male and our problems can be wildly isolating and lonely experiences - being told to go to therapy is kind of “take your feelings over there”. At the same time, until men are able to build healthier communication with their loved ones, I think it won’t be solved (which is where therapy does help).

My understanding of this problem is that there’s still a very strong cultural impetus that males aren’t allowed to have/share their feelings. In a way, even “go to therapy” is dismissive, in that the ppl saying it (often those that care about them most) don’t want to be bothered to address their feelings, or the precursor(s) to the depression, directly. Acknowledgement is definitely a step in the right direction, but I think there’s a ways to go. Just my $0.02