Hey. Be glad we got to be alive at all. Make a fucking party out of it. Go have a threesome.

You know how all the old people get up early and go to mcds and we used to be like “ah what’s that all about that’s weird” and then you grow up and go “oh yeah that’s actually the tits” and then you get a little older and you realize that old people just sleep around a ton because that’s also the shit? Yeah. Do more of that. Old people aren’t null, they just learn to hide it away from all the annoying little angsty whippersnappers. Probably.

Iunno man, life isn’t that short, our memories are just shitty. Go make more weird memories. Use that free will. Go plant some McDonald’s tomato seeds along the road or move to a place that sucks less or chase lightning in your car or see how long you can hang out in a grocery store until you get kicked out or learn to play an instrument and doodle on it somewhere in public, earn to paint, rob a bank, go into the forest and make a rock house, see how many new friends you can make in a day, learn a new language, skateboard, eat Indian food, make up a new bill and get signatures, buy a big pack of eggs and throw them at rich people, go be gay, draw a picture on paper, learn to meditate, make a movie, get some sticks and hit trees with them, donate blood, ride a bike, learn to tell stand-up comedy, make up stand-up horror as a hobby, write a book, see how long you can sleep during the day, see how healthy you can get, try to autofellate, go somewhere random and laugh really really hard then walk away, arson, collect lose change and just drop coins randomly, make a line of pennies or whatever, throw quarters at pigs, huff the fires of hell, do donuts in an abandoned parking lot, prepare for winter to do donuts in a parking lot in the snow, record yourself singing songs, skip rocks, write poetry, volunteer at the library, read a new series, go find a grassy hill and roll down it in front of other people, take up tai chi, wash your face and drink more water, put on gloves and walk on fours down the sidewalk and smile like aphex twin at children passing, learn to smile like aphex twin, learn to smile like titans in attack on Titan, learn to pose like a jojo, eat a salad, have diarrhea, drink water and electrolytes to make up for the lost hydration, try a new item at Taco Bell, realize the tacos at Jack in the box are actually really good, buy twenty of them and go eat them at a crowded park by yourself, dress up as waluigi and go back to said park and cry the hardest you can and ruin the day for everybody else there, go home and eat a nice sandwich, wash your butthole, shave your butthole, realize your mistake later, do a puzzle, see what soap really tastes like, get a hammer and goggles and go around breaking little rocks to see what’s inside, buy some nice headphones, listen to some good music, accept who you are and that’s everything you do and your success rate is the same as everybody else’s, see how high you can jump, record videos of you dancing, buy some Ritz crackers and dip them in weird stuff like mustard, find the biggest jawbreaker you can and don’t mess up your teeth, start flossing, stop smoking, stop vaping, stop drinking, exercise in any way you can, go talk to whatever family you have left, pick a place, take a roadtrip, and get a treat from there on a nice day, research and shop for and buy a flashlight, go for a night adventure, arson, take a class from your local college, go into the city and listen to somebody playing music, give a homeless person a burger, punch a fascist, arson, sing, dance, make up a tradition, celebrate your birthday, listen to Christmas music in July, feed the birds, bring a blanket to a meadow and have a picnic, dress up as something you’re not and see how long you can get away with it, go talk to old people, eat a cake, make a pizza, do a pull-up, get ready for inktober, make a new food, buy some rope and duct tape, fly a drone, listen to a river, pretend something that isn’t a river is a river and listen to it like it’s a river, take up stargazing, take up bird watching, find your nearest ai datacenter, learn to whistle better, see if you can trace the origins of rock n roll music, pick a random topic and learn the history of it, go to a museum and read EVERYTHING in it, go to your local college’s bookstore and buy a textbook and read the entire thing, learn to grow coffee, watch an old series that you’ve always wanted to, watch a new series that you hate, dress up formal and grab a clipboard and some paper and go to a restaurant and pretend you’re judging them for an hour then tell them thanks and leave.

I have to go now.

A bit more grey hair but he looks just the same otherwise IMO. Though I mostly know him from his pretty recent career of horror movies, have seen some of the Key and Peele skits but that was years after they made them. Excited to see what comes next from him!