I’ll start.

We had great chemistry but different goals. She was religious and looking to marry and thought she could change me, a non-religious person who intends to remain unmarried and childless. I was up front about the lack of religion and the lack of desire for marriage. She was not up front about her intent to change me.

After two months of regular flings she told me we couldn’t see each other anymore, because she wanted someone to go to church with, it was my fault she was living a sinful life (totally), and she was cheating on me with another dude was a Christian.

  • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
    11·
    20 hours ago

    I definitely don’t consider the end of the relationship a failure but the entire thing was the failure and leaving was the success.

    He wasn’t abusive or anything. He was also very Christian and it took me a while to realize that he was fetishizing me for being “bad” while simultaneously putting me on a pedastal. I feel so gross when I even think about it tbh. He wanted kids, wanted a marriage, I convinced myself I wanted that as well. Thankfully we never even got close to that. He criticized me constantly for drinking/weed (I was in my early 20s and in college and definitely wasn’t partaking anymore than your average party person), but he criticized me for it in the condescending fucking way only a religious person would.

    He also only brushed his teeth like twice a week… Something I only figured out when he stayed with me and my parents for a month and we didn’t have mouthwash for him to clean his mouth with daily??

    Talked about his previous ex pretty often too, about how heartbroken she had left him blah blah blah. Honestly there were a lot of red flags but I was young and infatuated.

    Last straw was when I had to cancel a trip to visit him to travel to my home country because my aunt was sick. He told me to “have fun” (in a completely serious tone, not sarcastically) and was sending me selfies throughout asking me which ones were better as I watched my aunt dying.

    I spiralled very soon after that, faced some of the darkest experiences of my life. But at least I broke up with him.

    I don’t think he was necessarily a bad person after all that, maybe just naive, but I will never trust any feelings of infatuation again. He’s probably the only person I’ve dated where I genuinely regret it.