3 days ago he passed away. We only realize now how much he was integrated into our daily routine. Our friends all have cats because of this guy. Friendly, talkative, cuddly, needed to be in the middle of any conversation, and last but not least a single cell dumbass. Seeing him pass away at the vet is the one most horrible moment I have ever experienced.
Next week he will be cremated and I hope we have him back with us soon. Part of his ashes will be placed in the field he was born, not far from where we live.
Posted a pic of him before here. https://kbin.earth/m/cat@lemmy.world/t/313496/Our-17-year-old-fam-Mimo
I can understand that. And I can understand perhaps not euthanizing him would prolong his suffering that may have gotten worse. Please be gentle with yourself. Perhaps you can write him a letter explaining the complexity of the decision, why you made the decision, and how you feel, now. Tell him you love him. Tell him anything else. Then maybe put it with his box at cremation, or whatever you want.
I think these feelings may be with you a while. Let it be a reminder of your love. You made this decision from a place of love. That’s a serious unselfish decision. When these feelings arise, hold space for them, if you’re in the appropriate time and space to do do, and hold space for yourself. I know you’re a kind, gentle person because of some exchanges we had elsewhere. I bet your boy knows it, from 17 years with you.
You and your family are in my thoughts. I wish you pace and healing. 🫂