Currently shitting my whole ass cause I had 12 things of beer yesterday
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul
#streetracing #DUI #blessed
Imagining that old pic of a cat with a watermelon helmet behind the wheel.
Me - trying to fall asleep but my stomach hurts because I ate half a bag of chips before bed:
“You can’t say that! You don’t know my life!”
Unironically, mostly yes.
😔 I know.
On the shitpost meter, you score 70%
Finally some validation.
Just like mom used to heat up.
I miss my black cat that was stolen from me. This post makes me sad.
Omg that is so evil :(
She is my ESA and my racist narcissist mom stole her. Here is proof.
No proof was needed, and I’d have obscured your name. Sorry you’re in such a poor situation, but glad at least you have therapeutical support.
I hope your mom gets hit by a bus.
I wonder often that has been said in a supportive context…
≻∶3
Fact!
I’m going through a hangover. Checks out.
Idk, pretty sure feeling like I’m gonna throw up after eating some donuts my coworker brought in is at most partially my fault.
Maybe. Did you give them good reason to poison you?
Not that I can think of
Maybe I can blame astrology
Fine. Open your own damn can of food!
