We definitely want to acknowledge the pain points in this user story. Let’s circle back for a download later so we can touch base okay bud?

The executives finally noticed there was actual work getting done without their “guidance” and we absolutely can’t have that.

The thing about the original agile manifesto is it’s so vague that you could just put anything you want over it. That’s why there are 700 books and 7000000000 consultants teaching agile practices. It’s fake!

I had to take an agile course in college and the entire time, going over all the rules-based processes, I was like this all sounds like both bullshit and office terrorism to me. Corpos come along and try to turn software dev into a office culture shitrag instead of just leaving us alone and letting us work on code.

My last job did weekly meetings but that was about it. If the boss wanted to check in on us he’d just message us. We had quite a bit of freedom and surprising no one, was able to get stuff done, and more efficiently.

My previous job had daily 30-60 minute “stand ups” and weekly 2+ hour sprint planning meetings.

It’s not “proper” agile/scrum/whatever, but in my experience it never is. No agile plan survives contact with the enemy (management).

Agile will be what pushes IT workers to join the revolution

The only thing I hate more than AGILE or any other workplace words, is the rock headed coworkers who try to defend it.

It doesn’t help that the code I have to work on is just horseshit. But so was the last project I was on and probably any other job.