I think the main problem with most relationships is the myth that “opposite poles get attracted to each other”. No, the more you have in common with someone else, the more succesful, peaceful and enjoyable the relationship will be. That’s not always the case, for sure, and there’s obviously exceptions to that rule nevertheless, but are in the end just that, exceptions, not the norm, and when you date someone that doesn’t at least share your core interests, views and principles, you could and definitely will get constant arguments and fights because of the constant and often serious and intense clashes of expectations and ways of seeing and living life.
I think the main problem with most relationships is the myth that “opposite poles get attracted to each other”
Imma go beyond this.
The problem with the intergenerational “wisdom” being transferred is that a lot of this shit lost why they were memes worth spreading in the first place. It’s not “opposites attract”, its “marriage and raising a family and creating a good home environment requires a diverse skillset, and being different people allows you to bring that diverse skillset so that you can be self sufficient in your family group and have a degree of personal autonomy due to being able to dedicate yourself to different social groups and activities, while returning to each other and appreciating the time you have together.”
It came out a little through the generational loss.
Yeah, and I’m good with that definition. But the problem is that most people are just interpretating it as if it were “I hatr parties and she loves parties, so we’ll be the perfect marriage with no doubt”, while that will cause so many problems because of these are two ways of socialization that are in the antipodes of each other.
I myself hate parties as I’m heavily introverted and, also, I’m autistic, so I don’t really get well in large groups or people (or even in small groups of people if I don’t know them), and I also just hate the ambience of a party.
Even with more small things it does apply. Like, I love anime, so I’d never date with someone who hates it.
And it obviously will be more important when it’s about trascendental things such as religion, political views or philosophical stances.
But most people just take it as “if you hate X, you have to date with someone that loves X” or “if you love Y, you have to date with someone who hates Y”; that’s not how it works.
True complementarity needs to be built upon a strongly shared core of expectations, values, thoughts, ideas, visions of the world and ways of living life, because otherwise there will be little or not intelligibility.
![Having a good partner [PizzaCake]](https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/3c29d75b-f0f5-4c4b-ad7a-5dd4bfeb0f06.webp){kind=link}
I think the main problem with most relationships is the myth that “opposite poles get attracted to each other”. No, the more you have in common with someone else, the more succesful, peaceful and enjoyable the relationship will be. That’s not always the case, for sure, and there’s obviously exceptions to that rule nevertheless, but are in the end just that, exceptions, not the norm, and when you date someone that doesn’t at least share your core interests, views and principles, you could and definitely will get constant arguments and fights because of the constant and often serious and intense clashes of expectations and ways of seeing and living life.
Imma go beyond this.
The problem with the intergenerational “wisdom” being transferred is that a lot of this shit lost why they were memes worth spreading in the first place. It’s not “opposites attract”, its “marriage and raising a family and creating a good home environment requires a diverse skillset, and being different people allows you to bring that diverse skillset so that you can be self sufficient in your family group and have a degree of personal autonomy due to being able to dedicate yourself to different social groups and activities, while returning to each other and appreciating the time you have together.”
It came out a little through the generational loss.
Yeah, and I’m good with that definition. But the problem is that most people are just interpretating it as if it were “I hatr parties and she loves parties, so we’ll be the perfect marriage with no doubt”, while that will cause so many problems because of these are two ways of socialization that are in the antipodes of each other. I myself hate parties as I’m heavily introverted and, also, I’m autistic, so I don’t really get well in large groups or people (or even in small groups of people if I don’t know them), and I also just hate the ambience of a party.
Even with more small things it does apply. Like, I love anime, so I’d never date with someone who hates it.
And it obviously will be more important when it’s about trascendental things such as religion, political views or philosophical stances.
But most people just take it as “if you hate X, you have to date with someone that loves X” or “if you love Y, you have to date with someone who hates Y”; that’s not how it works.
True complementarity needs to be built upon a strongly shared core of expectations, values, thoughts, ideas, visions of the world and ways of living life, because otherwise there will be little or not intelligibility.