This fucking terrifies me. My mom is 79, living in the most rural place ever, wtf is she gonna do when she has to give up her license? P.s. if anyone else has been in this situation what did you do?
My dad stopped driving at 80 but he remained living on the farm.
If he needed to go somewhere, there was always a neighbor happy to help out.
Dad went to the car dealership and spent $10k on a reasonably good 2nd hand car that he never drove - it would only get used if he needed someone to drive him somewhere.
Using his own car that he pays all the running costs and maintenance on made it much more comfortable for him to ask a neighbor/friend/family for help.
There’s a few options: you drive for her, she moves into a senior community, she moves in with you – which is how it used to be – or none and a fender bender (or worse).
This is correct, but moving costs money. Which my mom doesn’t have any of, and I have little to spare. It’s going to be a big issue when she’s not able to take care of herself
She will need to sell her house and car and a chunk of her belongings and move in with you or on the same street or apartments or whatever. She needs to decide what to sell and what to give to whom, now while she still has her faculties and mobility.
When you get old, you’re doing good until you aren’t and then you never are again. You two should have a plan that you can just execute.
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately our relationship isn’t great and we are pretty estranged. My husband and I live in a 2 bedroom condo with one bathroom, small even for just us two and our cats. So she can’t move in with us. My sister is no contact with her. So yeah. The situation is messy.
Oh, well in that case let her figure it out. My parents kicked me out at 18, and at this point I wouldn’t talk to them if they attempted to reach out. I worry that they might, confronting death or needing physical daily assistance. I hope for their sake that they have whatever they need to do, planned out already.
This fucking terrifies me. My mom is 79, living in the most rural place ever, wtf is she gonna do when she has to give up her license? P.s. if anyone else has been in this situation what did you do?
My dad stopped driving at 80 but he remained living on the farm.
If he needed to go somewhere, there was always a neighbor happy to help out.
Dad went to the car dealership and spent $10k on a reasonably good 2nd hand car that he never drove - it would only get used if he needed someone to drive him somewhere.
Using his own car that he pays all the running costs and maintenance on made it much more comfortable for him to ask a neighbor/friend/family for help.
There’s a few options: you drive for her, she moves into a senior community, she moves in with you – which is how it used to be – or none and a fender bender (or worse).
If you live somewhere that you have to drive to take care of yourself and you can no longer drive, you can no longer take care of yourself.
You move to where you can either take care of your self or be taken care of.
This is correct, but moving costs money. Which my mom doesn’t have any of, and I have little to spare. It’s going to be a big issue when she’s not able to take care of herself
You two should be discussing this now.
She will need to sell her house and car and a chunk of her belongings and move in with you or on the same street or apartments or whatever. She needs to decide what to sell and what to give to whom, now while she still has her faculties and mobility.
When you get old, you’re doing good until you aren’t and then you never are again. You two should have a plan that you can just execute.
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately our relationship isn’t great and we are pretty estranged. My husband and I live in a 2 bedroom condo with one bathroom, small even for just us two and our cats. So she can’t move in with us. My sister is no contact with her. So yeah. The situation is messy.
Oh, well in that case let her figure it out. My parents kicked me out at 18, and at this point I wouldn’t talk to them if they attempted to reach out. I worry that they might, confronting death or needing physical daily assistance. I hope for their sake that they have whatever they need to do, planned out already.
You’re not responsible for your mother.
My grandma moved closer to people that could help her and where she was more mobile without a car.
My girlfriends grandma is 90 and she rides her e-bike almost daily. But we have some bike lanes and a grocery store is nearby.
Maybe locally organised carpools?