If I don’t take meds I feel I should be doing things and then feel bad when I don’t.
Or if I do take meds I get a lot of things done and feel productive but zaped of energy.
Hobbies are either invested in and dropped or I just feel ‘bored’ and don’t want to get any of the stuff out to do them. If they stick around a bit longer they then feel like a chore or become a larger project and just another thing in the to-do pile and not relaxing.
Where is the off button and how do I relax?
I gave up on going to the gym altogether because I just couldn’t do it consistently. I bought a set of adjustable dumbbells and a bench and just workout at home. I also came up with several routines so if I’m not able to get into gear for my usual workouts I can do a lighter one and at least do something.