If I don’t take meds I feel I should be doing things and then feel bad when I don’t.
Or if I do take meds I get a lot of things done and feel productive but zaped of energy.
Hobbies are either invested in and dropped or I just feel ‘bored’ and don’t want to get any of the stuff out to do them. If they stick around a bit longer they then feel like a chore or become a larger project and just another thing in the to-do pile and not relaxing.
Where is the off button and how do I relax?
Look into getting something you can use to exercise while you’re doing something else. Like, I have an under the desk bike and I use it daily. Helps me keep somewhat active, and it helps me get that number-go-up dopamine hit from my smart watch stepsive hit close to 50k steps in a single day when I was having a particularly stressful work day, and my calves definitely feel like I’d been active for a good while.