I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn’t even looking up. He said "I haven’t seen you here before. " I said I wasn’t really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.
Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve gotten and interesting discussion.
I disagree in that it’s on both parties to listen and what I am experiencing as women gain more and more equality and take over (thank God men have fucked up enough), they’re making the same goddamn problems.
There is a urgent and growing problem with young men that is going to impact the lives of women and the response cannot be to point fingers and go “buh buh buh men!”.
Most men will tell you rape is wrong. Most men will tell you overt sexualization is wrong.
The problem, simply stated, is that we have rightly been nurturing and lifting women to reach a point of equality in the system but we have not been spending that same energy in ensuring our boys and now men are not left feeling under threat and marginalized at the same time. They aren’t but it’s easy to feel that way.
I think in person we would have a lot in common and I believe we want the same thing. What matters is the approach. The current approach is going to be very dangerous if we continue down the road. The manosphere is simply one concerning symptom as is the rise of nationalism.
If there’s one thing discussions around public cases will show is, this only applies when it’s generic. As soon as you change the question to "Is this rape wrong, many men change their tune, and will find any possible reason to call this particular case not actual rape. So no, I don’t think this actually tracks in the real world
The Cornell case is a perfect example of this.
How will it impact the lives of women?
Andrew Tate.
Oh ok, so if women aren’t nicer to men, they’re going to be raped and trafficked even more?
Great motivation.
Not what anyone here means. But telling little boys that they’re all worthless evil rapists isn’t healthy either. Do not be surprised when they listen to someone who tells them they’re worth something. Do you really want that someone to be Andrew Tate? Because that’ll definitely end up worse for women (and society in general).
Antagonizing little boys isn’t the way we get out of this.
No one is saying that here.
How is OP antagonizing little boys by not engaging in small talk with a man she doesn’t know?
We’re in a thread talking about a growing problem with young men, and you’re asking “How will it impact the lives of women”. I’m just trying to answer the question… Just take a few seconds to reflect on how the message you’re spreading throughout the whole thread (that 1/3 women have been raped, etc) can be received by young boys. That stat you quote elsewhere about 52% of men feeling we discriminate against men, why do you think they feel that way?
Overall, I agree that there’s been a problem with discrimination towards women, and sexual abuse is a problem. But the way to solve it is to teach people about consent, not to treat every man as a rapist.
https://sh.itjust.works/post/68309381/27940884
I was responding to a specific comment.
I am not going to obfuscate facts because some men feel defensive that the majority of rapists share a gender with them. These are truths. It shouldn’t be on women to shut up about what our lives entail because it makes some boys and men feel icky.
If they want less women to be raped, then they need to join with us to help tackle the rates of sexual assault.
That’s exactly what I push for here and have never treated every man as a rapist. More education, more sex education, more knowledge about consent and what rape really looks like (it’s not all forcible rape, etc), more empathy for girls and women.
Fair enough. But some of the attitude here seems to be “ewww creepy guy talked to you, you narrowly avoided rape” when in all likelyhood the dude was probably just awkward… We need more empathy in general, not just towards girls and women.