I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn’t even looking up. He said "I haven’t seen you here before. " I said I wasn’t really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.
Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve gotten and interesting discussion.
If someone I don’t know rings my doorbell trying to make a sale on something, I assume it’s a scam. It’s not because everyone who rings a doorbell is a scammer, but because there are enough of them that I’d rather shut off that entire avenue of approach.
That doesn’t mean I don’t buy anything. I just don’t buy things in that way.
It also doesn’t mean that I don’t open the door for strangers. Plenty of people are delivering packages or things someone in my house has specifically ordered. Or people need to do work on or around my property (utility pole, buried lines/pipes, neighbors’ trees/fences, etc.).
Understanding the generational shifts in social expectations is important. Bemoaning the loss of a particular type of interaction just because it’s the type you happened to experience before doesn’t actually say anything about the state of society.
Cold approaches by men to women sitting by themselves have basically gone away. There are a lot of reasons for this, including that we as a society have stopped being bored, to where the prospect of small talk with a stranger has changed from “better than nothing” to “worse than nothing” in just 20 years. But it has happened, and people need to adjust.