I got a new co-worker once. He was a drummer. I try, but I can’t do rolls and have shitty symmetry. We’re going drinking after work, so on the way there I ask him “how do you get both hands to play the same speed? I keep fucking it up with one side” I think he gave a basic explanation, and we changed topic after a while.

Later on, at the pub, I realise he’s missing several fingers on his left hand.

I then want to die of embarrassment.