Once you’ve seen kids try to eat soup with their hands, you’ll start enforcing stupid rules too. On one hand, I don’t care in the slightest about ‘etiquette’ but God help me, stop using your offhand to shovel pasta into a spoon and then dropping half of it. Sit up straight, utensil over your plate and put your utensil down when you’re not using it.

But, like, put pineapple on pizza and enjoy your steak how you want it.