I (24F) met a guy (37M) at a party half a year ago. He’s Japanese and I am an Indian living in Japan. We talked and exchanged socials but that was about it. After that we met in several other occasions, organized by mutual friends and a lot of times he invited me to various events too. I never really thought much about it because the age gap between us is insanely high.
A week ago he asked me if I am free and would like to go to a cafe with him. He didn’t say it was a date but i kinda think it was. This was our first opportunity to actually get to know more about each other’s personal life. I asked him about his job, he told me that he handles his parent’s real estate company and is quite rich. But he feels like his job is not very rewarding so he wants to go to abroad. I asked him if he is planning to get married so he said he feels it is still to early for him to get married. Then he asked me why i am not dating anybody yet. I told him i was too busy to date anyone but now that i have found a job, I will move to a new city and look for a suitable partner there. I am also planning to have a lot of children so I don’t want to delay it a lot. He said he also wants to have many children, but he didn’t seem bothered at all with his age being much higher than mine. Anyways, i think i made it pretty clear that i am only planning to look for a boyfriend in the city i am moving to, while he said he’s planning to stay closer to his family in this city and go abroad temporarily.
He still paid for everything that we ate and asked me out on a date again.
My question is, if he knows that I am leaving this city in two months and not planning to date anyone here, then is it safe to assume he asked me out again because he wants to sleep with me? I do not want to sleep with him, i am definitely physically attracted to him because he’s very handsome but i am a virgin and i want my first time to be with a long term partner atleast.
Is there any comfortable way to bring up this topic without making me sound like a narcissist who assumed a guy wants to sleep with her just because he asked her out🥲.
Please help me out
This can’t be judged well from afar imo.
My wife and i also got together two months before she was supposed to move to a different city. If people genuinely love each other, commuting and making things work is possible and people have done it before. In the case of my wife the different city didn’t work out after all. When we got together it started with us trying to talk ourselves out of it, because of all the reasons why it should not work. Now we are going strong since more than 5 years.
Life reality doesn’t work in terms of “now i will date and now i will find a suitable partner” or “now is not the time”. People who limit or push themselves like this end up sabotaging themselves imo.
You will have to trust your guts on this. It is set that you will move. If he is serious, he will find a solution for this. If he is that rich and he is unhappy where he lives now, there is no reason why he shouldn’t be able to make it work that you life in a different city. If he doesn’t, then it isn’t meant to be.
The age difference is an issue though in the sense that his life experience makes it easier for him to control situations and make promises not to hold up, than the other way round. This does not mean that it has to be the case. You should see to judge him by his actions, not by words.